The more times I try.... the more times I fail miserably

Why this title? Because I have had a terrible week. I weighed in at 215... yes a gain of 2.5 lbs. I wish I still had TOM because them I could blame that on him... but after a hysterectomy.. well.. you just don't have an excuse anymore! LOL

Why am I failing miserably? There are a couple of things that are causing this... (not that I am using them as excuses to eat badly)...


1. We are selling our house....and if you have ever done this you would know that it means keeping it spotless ALL the time. I have two toddlers... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaccccccccckkkkkkkkk. OK, so the house isn't even on the market yet.. but just trying to get it to where it looks presentable is killing me. Today I am redecorating and putting away a lot of pictures so as to make the rooms look a little less cluttered.

2. Yesterday I had to drive my daughter 4 hours to the eye surgeon, where he put some painful drops in her eyes and scared her to the point where she will never walk into a doctors office again.Then drove 4 hours back home last night. She is 3 years old and will have to have surgery in a couple of weeks to remove a cyst under the eye. I hate the thought of her having to have surgery at such a young age.

3. I have been given the job of also finding a new house for us. Can I just say that Realtors are as bad as used car salesmen!! They don't stop. The second you walk onto the lot, or call them on the phone, they are on top of you. I cant stand it. Hubby and I have actually decided that , since we cant find a house big enough that we like, we are going to build our own house. YEAH.. I love the idea of having a say in what my house will look like!

So, all in all... a lot has been going on. I know better then to use excuses... and I am not really using them as excuses. I just know that when I become stressed, I think of myself last. Which means that I eat what is easiest, I don't drink any water, and at the end of the day I am so exhausted (mentally) that I don't want to exercise.

I have not been using my Satiatrim... which was working great... and I still have two or three cases of the stuff left... so today, I am back on the wagon. Will I fall off again? probably... but do I just give up?? NEVER. I owe myself that much!

Have a blessed day...

I'm Still HERE!!!!

Hi y'all!!

I'm sorry for disappearing on you guys for a WHOLE week.. but I packed up the girls and we went to the city for 3 days. We got a hotel room and a pool key and spent 3 days in the pool. It was a blast!! My mom, grandmother and aunt went too... so it was kind of a girls week out! My 2 year old swam by herself for the first time.. and my 4 year old learned how to jump off the edge of the pool and go under water!! They had soo much fun... but after the 3rd day they were very much ready to come home. As was I! Hubby had to work.. but he enjoyed having peace and quiet for 3 days. As far as I can tell, that is all he did... the house was in the same mess that it was when we left... so I am doing alot of housework today. Oh well!

I missed my weigh in on Tuesday .... and I sucked at my diet (the hotel had free breakfast, free dinners AND free alcohol from 5-7pm... can we say calorie haven!)... so I am sure there is a gain, but I am stepping back up and will be working my butt off until next weigh in.

I was a dough head and forgot to take my Satiatrim with me on the trip. I'm sure if I had, I would have stayed away from all the delicious food.. but that was not the case. Anyway, I had one for breakfast this morning and am doing great so far. The vanilla flavor is actually pretty tasty. I am starting to like it a little more then the chocolate! Did I just say that??? LOL

I have a lot of work to do, and a lot of working out to do.. so I will leave you with this:


Don't dig your grave with your own knife and fork. ~English Proverb

Have a Blessed Day

Out Of Curiosity

BEFORE AND AFTER




The difference is... in real life the clothes dont fit all that well and the arms are WAY bigger. LOL. I am definitley liking the 'after' though!!

Day 3

Once again... I ROCKED!! and then I rolled. To be more precise, I stepped in a hole in the back yard and rolled my ankle. I went to my hands and knees and cried for about 10 minutes. My girls didn't know what was wrong, so they hopped on my back and played horsey!! LOL Which worked out well since I wasn't about to walk back to the house!! I bandaged it and iced it. There was no swelling, so I went to work. I lasted an hour... and came home to put it up on a pillow. This morning it just feels really bruised.. and just a little swollen. Crud... now what do I do for a workout??? I'm thinking The Biggest Loser workout and then weights... I can put weight on it, it just hurts to walk.

Satiatrim rocked once again too! I had my drink before each meal and ate much smaller portions then normal. I am also really trying to listen to my body... I am finding that I really DON'T need to eat two helpings of pasta to fill me up. In fact, one cup did great!! LOL

Ok, so today's plan is to find a workout that my ankle can handle, drink lots of water, listen to my body, fill that hole in the back yard!

Have a Blessed Day and we'll see you tomorrow!!

Day 2

Yesterday went fantastic. I walked 3 miles on the treadmill... drank 10 glasses of water...had great portion control... and felt pretty good. At least until this cold set in last night! LOL Oh well.

The Satiatrim wasn't all that bad. I was a little nervous to taste it, but the chocolate tasted pretty chocolaty. It definitely filled me up pretty well before I even started eating. I ate healthy sized portions because I was full so fast. I snacked all day on grapes, celery and carrots soaked in lemon juice. Lets see how day 2 holds up!!

Like I said, I am suffering from a cold... and everyone knows that summer colds are the worst. I also am scheduled to work tonight... might have to call in if my head doesn't start to clear up soon.

I have been roaming around the blog world again, looking for inspiration. I found a girl name Roni who lost around 70 lbs. Just to see her progression pictures gives me hope that I can do this too! Check them out here!

My plan for day 2 is this : Drink 4 glasses of water, eat oatmeal, walk 3-4 miles, drink more water, work in the yard, relax before work. Sounds good to me!

Have a Blessed day and we'll see y'all tomorrow!

Motivation

Ok, so I wont say that my life has gone from shit to sunshine overnight... but I did get a couple of things that motivated me to start strong today. First:

I saw the first show of FightGirls on the Oxygen channel. It was fantastic. It is about 10 women who are Moay Thai fighters, training and fighting for the 5 spots in Thailand to compete. These women have the most amazing bodies.. and they train HARD for them. It kinda reminded me that things don't come easy to anyone.. I wrote down some of their training tips and will use them today ... yes, today I am working out.

Second:

I am trying a new thing called Satiatrim. It is an all natural drink that is supposed to trigger your "I'm full" feelings. This is what they say

When you drink a delicious Satiatrim beverage before or with a meal, its natural ingredients activate your “feel-full” proteins. These special proteins, which are released in response to eating, produce a number of effects to diminish your appetite. First, they slow the movement of food from your stomach, making you feel satisfied even when you are eating less.


In addition, the feel-full proteins send a signal to the appetite center of your brain that extends the feeling of fullness after you eat, so you remain hunger-free between meals. Satiatrim also contains an ingredient from green tea that activates important enzymes to help you burn more fat calories.

One drink is 50 calories... and for those of you on WW, it is equal to .65 of a point. Today is my first day, so I will let you know how it goes. I got enough to try it for 2 weeks and see if I notice a difference. Lets keep our fingers crossed.


So, the plan today is to drink 4 glasses of water, eat breakfast, hop on the treadmill for 3 miles, lift weights and try those new training moves, drink more water, watch what I eat and maybe go for a bike ride with the kids this afternoon. OH... and to stop writing in such a depressing way.. I'm sorry y'all, I know my last couple of entries have been depressing but like everyone else, I struggle with my motivation. When things start going down hill, they really pick up speed. Sometimes I just have to wait till I hit bottom before I can even think about climbing the hill again.




Have a Blessed day and I'll be seeing you tomorrow~

Frustration

Life has given me quite a few loops the past week, so I am sorry to say that diet has sucked.... shoot, I even picked up a couple of cigarettes this weekend, and I haven't even smoked in 4 years. Today I am sticking to just liquids... teas,soups, broths... especially water. Maybe it will help me get back on track. I am going to get on my treadmill this afternoon and walk 3 miles... and then I am going to get a good nights sleep. Will let y'all know how it went!

Still Here....Just Busy

Hi y'all!! Sorry for not blogging everyday.. but I've just been trying to get my grove back!

I am doing really well with my food. I am watching my portions.. and eating healthy. I challenged Michelle to 5 hours of cardio this week... Monday I did 1 hour (walking 3 miles), yesterday I did a big fat NADA!, Today I have 4 miles to walk on my training schedule for the Breast Cancer Walk... which everyone needs to check out!! I am also asking that when you donate money, please put a name down in which you would like to donate in honor of or memory of.. I am going to print up a shirt with everyones name on it. I will wear it all 3 days (hmmmmm maybe I should print 3 shirts!) of walking... and will wear it proudly.

The wind is blowing like mad today... so it looks like I wont be going anywhere.

Have a blessed day!

Day 1 of 84 and LOTS of Tamales!!

Do you ever get discouraged when an event is coming up and you are no where near the weight you were hoping to be? How about this one... Do you ever want to give up because the event is only a month away and there is NO WAY you can lose all the weight by then? This is where I am right now... or was, until I got a fresh start last night. A friend sent me a book called Body-For-Life for Women! I read the entire thing last night.. and it inspired me to get going again. Not so much on working out... because I am doing that really well.. but it doesn't do any good when you are eating anything and everything in sight. So I am doing the challenge. I am going to stick to this challenge for the entire 84 days... and I don't care if I lose a ton of weight or any at all. My goal this time is to FINISH what I started. So starting today it is time to concentrate on my eating.



With all of this in my mind, I also had to make 5 dozen tamales for my father-in-laws wedding this weekend. I managed to do them all in one day... and you would think that I would have had to make extra to munch on myself.. but after making that many.. I couldn't stand the sight of them anymore! I will have to use some strong will power this weekend though.. there will be ALOT of no-no's there... including alcohol... and EVERYONE is camping out there over the weekend... ugh. Come on Will Power!!

I am a little excited to start a new day... and when I looked at the calender I realized that I still have 7 months before this "new me" year is over... plenty of time to lose the weight I was wanting to... BUT.. no time to mess up. This is it.. If I don't do it now, I will be letting myself, my hubby, my kids down. Ugh... Lets get this over with and start doing it RIGHT!!

Have a Blessed Day... and thanks for checking in on me... I will try to blog a little more often now!

TGIF

Hi all!

Yesterday kinda sucked with the diet. Only because I was exhausted from working the night before and not really thinking (or caring) about what went in my mouth. I don't think it was too bad... just alot of carbs. So today I have to make up for it and eat lots of fruit and veggies instead. Oh.. and lots of water.

I want to give a HUGE Thank you to PearShapedGirl and Tiffany for donating to my Breast Cancer Walk For the Cure! Believe it or not.. with all the cash donations I have received as well.. I have raised $500 so far. Which means I have $1700 left. But considering I have 5 month.. and ALL of YOU .. I think it is very possible. Donate to fight Cancer and get me out walking 60 miles!!

I am back on the treadmill this morning, and today is a weight lifting day.

Hope ya'll are doing great! Have a Blessed day.

I Need Your Support

I have signed up to be a walker in the Susan G. Komen 3Day Walk to fight Breast Cancer. I have to raise $2200 in order to participate... so PLEASE.. donate what you can. Pass the website on to friends and family that you think might want to donate. Lets kick butt!!

www.the3day.org/arizona07/where_is_tigerlilly

Thank God For T.V.

Ok, so normally I would never say that. I hate the TV. But yesterday it was a blessing. Or, at least the timing of the shows was! Every time I started getting the munchies, I sat down and cruised thru the channels... and every time I was able to stop on a weight loss show.... Celebrity Fit Club .... The Biggest Loser (reruns) .... It was awesome. I didn't snack at all, and was even inspired to get up and go a SECOND round on the treadmill. Yeah!!

Ok.. so today is my weigh-in day. The results.....

Weight = 209 lbs
Body Fat = 40%
Hydration = 45%

chest= 42 1/4
waist= 40
hips = 44

If you were paying attention.... you will notice that I have lost 2.5 lbs since YESTERDAY. WOW!! Now, what I am thinking is this... I think that the 5 lbs I have lost since Friday is water weight. I am drinking A LOT more water then the past couple of weeks.. so I think that it may be water retention. Although.. it would be nice if it was FAT too!! LOL

I did a total of 2.5 miles on the treadmill yesterday.. and my LL Cool J weight lifting. Today I am going to do the same.

Have a Blessed Day... we'll see you tomorrow!

Monday Morning

So I woke up this morning wandering how successful I was at losing weight this weekend. I jumped on my scale... actually it was more of a creeping slow crawl onto the scale so as not to add any unwanted energetic pounds! Surprise Surprise it was down to 211.5. YES!! That means I've lost 2.5 lbs this weekend. I'm finally doing something right... and do you know what that is? Its a mix of a couple of things... but they seem to work together..

1. I am NOT eating in between meals. I eat what I want, but only until I am full. Which means ...

2. I am eating SLOWLY. No racing to the finish line... just enjoying everything that is on my plate.

3. I am not stressing about what IS on my plate. So I eat carbs....fat...sugar. I am not going to stress out about it. This doesn't mean I am loading up my plate with cookies, doughnuts and cupcakes... I AM trying to eat HEALTHY after all.. but it means that if I am craving a cookie, or Popsicle.. I have one for dessert (because I am NOT eating in between meals... remember?)

These three things are working for me! and I am so happy they are. On top of it all.. I did not exorcise at all this weekend. In fact, I slept because I had to work. So just eating right is helping me lose weight. This morning I busted my behind though. I jogged/walked 1.5 miles in 30 minutes. I did my LL Cool J weight lifting regimen... and I have already had 8 glasses of water and its not even lunch time yet!

I am so happy that this feeling, this strength is back again. I was down in the dumps for too long... this time ... well this time is like all the other times... I am going to put my whole heart into losing this fat. The only new thing I have to do is try not to sabotage myself again.

My father in laws wedding is in two weeks. Now, in the back of my head I am counting days, pounds and calories... but I am not going to give myself a weight to reach by then... I am just going to do my best to look healthy... happy.. and , ok, maybe just a couple of pounds lighter!! LOL

I found my measuring tape.. but I am going to wait until tomorrow morning to do all the measuring. Tuesdays will be my official weigh in day from now on.

Hope everyone finds their inner strength strong .... its what drives you to succeed!

Weigh Day

Since I am starting over, I figured I better update all my measurements, weights... etc.

So, for the record...

Weight 214 <--- aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaccccckkkk
fat % 40.0
Water % 41 <---- That is terrible.. more water please!!

Measurements will have to wait... once again my measuring tape has disappeared!


Time for another run on the treadmill! Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Starting Over

Its almost June, which means that 5 months has gone by in this 'New Me' year... and I am back to the beginning. I am heavier then when I started in January, which baffles me... but I'm not going to say I don't know how it happened. I do.. I let my guard down and I sabotaged myself again. I have had my pity party and today I am done with it. I have not snacked, munched or snuck anything... I've been drinking tons of water... and when hubby gets home tonight I will get on my treadmill and walk a couple of miles. I have a wedding to go to in two weeks... I'm not going to say that I'm going to lose X amount of pounds by then.. but I definitely want to be feeling good about myself. So back to caring for ME.

In other news, we bought a new car. With gas prices souring over the $3.00 mark we had to get rid of the SUV and go for something smaller. We ended up getting a Hyundai Santa Fe... I am loving it. It is bright red... AND I have driven to town and back 5 times and on the same tank of gas... with a 1/4 tank still left!!! WOW!! The old car could only go to town 3 MAYBE 4 times before I had to fill the tank.. and even then it was costing me $100 to fill it to the top. OUCH! So I am much happier now!

The weather is beautiful today, so the girls and I have been outside watering our garden.... corn, squash, watermelon, tomatoes, peppers, pumpkins and carrots all starting to come up. I am still trying to teach the girls which are plants and which are weeds! LOL..

Well... off to do some laundry and cleaning.. I don't work tonight, but it definitely starts to pile up on my days off.

God Bless

Home Sweet Home

Its been two weeks since I last blogged... and there is plenty to tell!



First- We went to Disneyland!! It was a blast. The girls didn't do alot of the rides, but the ones that they did do, they LOVED. The worst part was trying to get them OFF the rides at the end. LOL.



We got to have lunch with the Princesses... which my oldest LOVED. Just seeing the look on her face when each one came to the table was priceless. Her dreams came true that day!



Then there was Toon Town... and my youngest FINALLY got to give Goofy a great big hug... and Mickey a big kiss on the nose.






Both girls got real princess dresses thanks to DE!! They wore them almost every day... and are still being worn today!



By the afternoons the girls and granny where worn out, so they would go back to the hotel room and Hubby and I were left to do all the big kid rides. Our favorite was Bear Mountain... the one where you go on a rafting ride and get soaking wet! Somehow, hubby always remained dry... where as, I got soaking wet each time! LOL



We especially loved Downtown Disney at night. There was always a romantic feel to it. Jazz musicians playing in the street... magical lights... it was very romantic. Because we were there on Mothers Day, hubby bought me a beautiful locket with Tinker Bell on it... I need to get some pictures shrunk down to put them in there!

So.. the past week was a blast...and exhausting.. but I would definitely do it again!
But I don't think granny will be willing to sit in the backseat for 10 hours again! LOL




As for my diet... what diet?? LOL ... yeah, I've been very, very bad.. but today is a new day and I need to get back on track. I am not going to stress about it though. Its just time to start thinking 'healthy'. No more sodas, no more cookies, no more fast food... just good stuff! Water... lots of water!!

Now it is time for me to visit all my blogging friends to say a much needed 'Hello'.

Have a Blessed Day

Another Chapter

My title today is "Another Chapter". I was going to use 'a new me' or 'day 1' but good grief, how many times can I start over again.... well the answer is ALOT. So why 'another chapter'? Because it gives the feeling of another beginning... but without forgetting or erasing the last chapter (or 50). In the last chapter I strayed from my healthy eating and daily exorcise and gained the weight back +1. Now, I can use me excuses of.. I got a new job, I work nights, I'm stressed out, we have money trouble... but when I look at all of those things I think "Well, when are those EVER going to go away?" NEVER!! I am going to have to live with the truth that I am going to be stressed out... I am going to work odd hours... I am always going to have money trouble. I cant let those things get in the way of my dream of being healthy. I just need to find a way of dealing with them... and NOT WITH FOOD! Yesterday was my first day working out in weeks. It felt great... but did not give me that little umph of energy that I usually got. So today I did it again. I jumped on the treadmill and did some speed walking. When I got off I felt better.. but still felt frumpy. Obviously I am back up to my high weight, and am going to feel frumpy... I just have to keep going.

My idea of joining WW is out the window. No money = no WW. So I went thru my library of weight loss books that I have collected over the years. I came a cross a book that called 'The Fat Smash Diet' by Ian K Smith, MD. You might recognize the name from Celebrity Fit Club. Hubby and I have started watching the show again because this season has Cledus T. Judd on it.. and he is one of Hubbys favorites. Anyway... the point is.. after their first week on this diet, each one of the members had lost 9 lbs or more. So I thought... heck.. if Cledus T. Judd can follow this diet then so can I! So I am on the 'detox' part of this diet. All you can eat fruits, vegetables, oatmeal and egg whites for the next 9 days! Lets see what my weight will be on day 10!! Oh yeah... what did I tell ya?... I just looked at the calender and day 10 falls on our 3rd day in Disneyland! HA! Ok.. so I will focus on eating salads.. lots and lots of salads! LOL

I am also doing a little catch up... yesterday was devotional day.. and I didn't get a chance to put one up. This one is a good one so I HAD to add it to today's blog:

DESERT WIND

Then the Lord answered Job out of the whirlwind. -Job 38:1

On the desert where I grew up, the tall saguaro cactus lift their arms as if praising God, and the warm, dry air creates little whirlwinds of dust everywhere. After my Sunday School teacher introduced me to the Book Of Job-- I was about ten-- I started chasing those "dust devils" to see if I could hear God talking. I never did, although once while running after the whirlwind I stumbled over a young fox, who yipped as we collided.
We all chase whirlwinds or look for handwriting on the walls. Even after asking God for guidance, we aren't willing to believe that casual words spoken by a friend could be that guidance. The signs are present, but unless they come from the hot desert wind or the mouth of a donkey, we don't want to believe them.
I don't have to be a storm chaser to hear God's voice. In fact, God could be speaking through my little dog, who is whining right this minute to go for a long walk. Maybe a stroll through the hills would be better than staying home with my nachos.

For Further Reflection

Think about the ways God may speak to you and guide you: first through the Bible, then through other spiritual reading, sermons, and the words of friends. What is the massage God is sending you today?

Prayer
Grant me, gracious Lord, the ability to hear You when You speak. Amen


I work tonight, so it is time to have a nice big bowl of veggies and get the girls down for a nap so I can do the same! Have a Blessed Friday!

Stress, Stress, Stress

Three words to describe my life right now. Work is going fantastic.. but taking its toll on me. I am getting 3-4 hours of sleep on the nights I work, and then having to work two days in a row. Ugh! On top of that my bank has switched to a new name and along with it has added a bunch of new charges... which has led to a nasty snowball affect. Money is nowhere to be seen. It is sad to see that with me working now..(to start saving money) ... we have actually gone deeper in the whole. It doesn't help that I had to pay my doctors visit and lab tests out of pocket.. On top of that our trip to Disneyland is in a week and I'm worried that we wont have enough money to really enjoy it. I am truly hating life right now.

On to the positives: I am eating less food... which is on the right track for me! One thing I keep telling myself (especially with all my negative thinking right now) is "Good IN.... Bad OUT". So I am concentrating on eating healthy and drinking lots of water to help all those bad things get out! I also grabbed my mama's treadmill and put it up in my living room so that I have no excuse to just hop on it and walk 30 min a day!

My F-I-L has his wedding in exactly one month... so my goal for May is to lose 20 lbs this month. It may be a stretch... but damn it... I'm going to try.

Hope all is well with everyone. I apologize to all my blog friends, I have not been very good at visiting you all! Know that my thoughts and well wishes are with you and I will make time soon to check in with ya!

Have a Blessed Day!

TGIF

Another week has flown by. I am failing miserably at losing weight.. and as my friend Becky would say; "Its cuz you eat big honkin' blizzards!". Yes, I got caught going thru the drive thru at Dairy Queen... but I just got a kiddie size blizzard... and I didn't even finish it! Becky, who was sitting inside the restaurant called me on my cell phone as I was pulling away and bitched me out! Scared the heck out of me... but I had a good laugh about it. Guess there is no more sneaking around to eat sweets now that this small town seems to know my blog!! LOL Talk about great support!!

So I am seriously thinking of joining Weight Watchers. The only problem is the one meeting here in town is on Thursday nights.. and I am usually scheduled to work Thursday nights. The neighboring town has one on Tuesday nights... and I guess you can go back and forth between them right??? I fight myself about it because I am so cheap and don't want to spend the money... I know I could do it without joining.. but how well has THAT worked so far? LOL

Tomorrow night hubby is taking me out on a date to celebrate my birthday. I am excited to have some 'us' time. He is planning on starting flying lessons pretty soon.. which I think is great.. but I'm not really sure what he plans on doing when he gets the flying licence. Its not like we can afford a plane.. let alone the gas! LOL

OK.. so I am off to see what all the screaming is about! Have a blessed weekend and we'll see you on Monday!

Happy Birthday To Meeeee

So today is my birthday. I am officially 29 years old. What better a day to get back on track. Last night I did my soul searching... this morning I woke up and started drinking water. I got a new scale that shows fat % and hydration levels... so I am back to weighing myself once a week. My starting point:

WEIGHT = 211 lbs
FAT % = 40
HYDRATION % = 40.5


So I am starting over... but that is ok. Because this time, I'm going to do it right from the start!!

My plan for today. Work out this morning, eat healthy (lots of veggies and fruit), drink tons of water, take a nap with the girls this afternoon, go to work. Rinse and repeat until next Wednesday... then we'll see if I'm on the right track!

Motivation? Disneyland in two weeks.... Wedding on June 2.... Anniversary on July 16.... Hubby's birthday August 3.... I'd say I have plenty to look forward to!!

Have a Blessed Day