Saturday, July 21, 2007

I am always thankful for the way that I ended up. If you had known me 5 or 6 years ago, you would have known an alcoholic, chain smoker who was at the bar every night. I had no dream of becoming a mom... or even a wife. I was just living to party. I met my husband at a bar... I became pregnant before we were 'officially' a couple. I met his family for the first time when I was 6 months pregnant (that was awkward). We fell in married (our daughter being the flower girl).. and a year later had our second daughter. 3 months after having my daughter I was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer.. they removed a huge tumor and did a full hysterectomy. I look back and realize that had that not all happened the way it did, I would never have had kids. I probably and most likely would still be a drinker and partier... and life would not be so good. Divine intervention??? You bet your rear end it was! I was saved by Jesus Christ in 2002... about the time this was all going on.

The point to all of that is.. I am thankful.

I got a call from SIL who had a miscarriage on Wednesday at 9 wks pregnant.. the second one this year. They have been trying so hard, and they have had so much heartache. I talked to her last night and told her I would be praying for her... she said she was tired of hearing 'it was Gods will' and 'it was meant to be'... and I don't really blame her. SO I didn't say those things.. I just said 'I'll be praying'.. . I really do believe all those things... God has a plan, and whether you know it or not.. what you suffer through is all part of it. In the end, you will get triple what you ever wanted for yourself!

Now my question is... am I meant to be fat? HA ... NO... I am suffering what is better known as gluttony. Especially on days when I eat more then I need.. like that second package of poptarts..yes, I indulged yesterday. So what do I do? Well, I pray... and I run... and I pray.. and I run.. and when I stop running, I pray ALOT! LOL I will lose this weight... I have faith (In Him.. and in me!!)

Today we are staying home... playing with hubbys new puppy 'Newt'.. and being thankful. (thankful that I made it thru another run last night!!)


Christine said...

Great picture - and what sweeties. Sorry to hear about SIL - thats a tough one. There is never the right words to say to someone when their heart hurts like that. My best friends little girl is fighting cancer too - and I never think that I say the right things - I hope that by staying in their lives (unlike alot of other people who fled because they didn't know what to do) I am doing what is best. Just including them in my prayers.

You have fought a tough fight too - so glad that you found the strength to beat it. And not to worry about the poptarts - its after 2am and I just ate a HUGE bowl of branflakes, and thru on 2 tablespoons of sugar! Didn't need to eat - but ah well.

You take care. Good luck with your weigh in.

Groovybabe said...

Thanks for sharing that. The thing is, the "right" way to live life is not the only way and I am glad you did things your way and made your life positive.

I did things in a similar way, well up to getting pregnant anyway. Out partying etc. I was living with the father when I fell pregnant but dumped him for going behind my back with a so-called friend. The next day I found out I was pregnant. So I did it alone to this day. A lot of my (not living my) life has been down to being fat (I put on the weight after a traumatic event 8 years ago) but I refused to let it dictate to me any more. We're both going to get there... one day at a time.

Carol Bardelli said...

I'm totally with you in believing God has a plan and we may not always like the path. But if we hold to Jesus' hand we will make it through and grow.

I'm so sorry about your sister in law's loss. I know it's hard to believe things happen for a reason when you're grieving. One day she'll probably look back and know it truly had a purpose.

As for weight struggles, I know it's a life long fight. The goal isn't necessarily to reach goal and stay there as much as to keep fighting and never give in totally.

You and your family are beautiful, puppy included.

God Bless You!

Salma Gundi said...

Heya, TL - I was the same way with the drinking and smoking and all. I am very glad that we've both taken our lives in a direction away from all that.

ArleneWKW said...

That is such a beautiful family photo. Re. gluttony, I all to frequently amaze myself by continuing to eat long after I'm full. It's nuts! You (and I) are not "meant" to be fat, but we may be "meant" to fight this difficult struggle. I think for both of us the struggle itself shows us a lot about ourselves. Some of the stuff it shows may be hard to face.