Wednesday, December 31, 2008

A New Beginning

Where Is Tigerlilly?? has been my blog for 2 years... and without bringing up too much history I will say that I had to start a new way of writing my 'healthy living' adventures. I wanted to keep this site open for everyone , because without these posts you could never truly understand who I am. If you have come across this site by accident, or you have always been a follower, please feel free to read my old posts... find out how I lost 40 lbs and why I had to... and then come on over to The Tigers Pride to read my daily battle against fat, cancer, food addiction and life in general.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

This blog is going private.

This blog means the world to me. It is my way to get the words in my head out... I am better at typing then talking. Unfortunately this has caused some problems with some unwelcome readers.

I will be making this blog private. Please email me if you would like to be added to the accepted list of readers!

I will not post again for another week.

You can email me at

Friday, July 25, 2008

Day 4

I am so glad its Friday. Time spent with Hubby. Outings with the girls. 2500 calories extra every day. DOH!!!! I am not going to do that this weekend. I am going to stick to my plan. I am going to keep food to a minimum and activity to the extreme! I will not ruin my week by having a crappy weekend.

I have 2 miles to run this morning. A refreshing pineapple salad for lunch and then off to town to do some shopping. Dinner is a beautiful salmon that I am going to bake.

Plans are still up in the air for the weekend.. but I am hoping for a lot of outdoor time! Fishing maybe?

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Day 10,950??

It is actually Day 3 for me but I've been thinking a lot about what I've been doing. My problem with food addiction and binge eating. My constant thrive to work out harder every day. It is all part of who I am. I will NEVER get over my food addiction. It is something I *may* get control over, but I will always have to watch what I eat and how much.

I will never be that skinny girl who can eat whatever she wants and never gain weight. I will never be able to just stop.....well, not until I die anyway. This is my life. This is something I will have to live with the rest of my life.

It seems a little overwhelming to think of doing this for the next 30+ years. I hope that when I get to goal I will be a little more motivated to stay there... but for now I have to concentrate on today.

I have done great so far. I won't deny myself that. I just have to keep going now. They don't say 'Lifestyle Change' for nothing!


Last nights class was great. We worked on our bow forms. I am very sore on my hips and waist from hitting the bow against them. I had a long drive home afterwards in the pouring rain. It gave me a chance to wind down a little before getting home though. Usually I get home and everyone is in bed asleep and I have to tip toe around until I finally relax enough to lay down.

They announced that our next testing will be in 2 weeks. I will be going for my brown belt... I am a little nervous because there is so much for me to remember at testing time. At least I have these extra classes now!

This morning I have a 2 mile run. I am also supposed to do my shoulders and arms weight lifting but am thinking I will switch it up a little and do a Samurai Sword workout. (aka Forza) Its a killer on the arms, shoulders and back! Hubby has class tonight, so I will hop on the treadmill while he is gone and get in another 1 or 2 miles.

My goal is to get water logged today! I SO need to be drinking more water!!!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Day 2

I have come to the conclusion that I am not going to lose any weight if I don't get serious about how much food I am putting in my mouth. Yesterday went very well. My portions were small and I did not eat unless it was a scheduled meal. I still need to drink more water.. it has been raining a lot lately and I think all this water is keeping me from drinking any! LOL... I know, silly. I have a liter of water in front of me right now and it will be gone by the time I am off the computer!

Workouts were fantastic. I ran 2 miles in the morning and then went off to Tang Soo Do class. It was fantastic because we had class outside in the cool night air. It was humid though and made for a very sweaty class. My master talked to me after class and has given me and invitation to take classes in the neighboring town on Monday and Wednesdays for no extra charge. This is fantastic news. The class over there has 3 women in it... which gives me a chance to fight someone my own sex. It also allows me to train more often... which will also help me burn more calories in the week. The fact that he is not going to charge me more money is fantastic..because I will need that money for gas!

So, today I am focusing on my food. SMALL PORTIONS! I will be going to class again tonight... poor Hubby is stuck with another night of making dinner. I am having company over this morning, so I will try to walk a mile or two after lunch today! I don't want to over do it before class.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Day 1

I have been in a never ending loop for the past 8 months. I lose 5 lbs, I gain 5 lbs, and I have told myself the same thing every time. "Dig deep and just do it". Well, I have lost my *umph*. My get up and go. I have become discouraged.

I KNOW that its possible... I KNOW that I can do it... but my head has taken over every time. I binge eat and it crosses out the hard workouts that I put myself through. It is really a vicious cycle.

Yesterday I did not exercise. Why? Because I ate too many carbs and felt like : "why bother? I'm just going to end up eating MORE later?"

This is not me. This is not the person I want to be. I want to be the strong, athletic type. I could care less if I get down to 145... I would be thrilled with 175. I am a very strong girl, physically. I can lift heavier weights then most women. I don't want to be a body builder, but I do want to have awesome arms! I want to fight in the MMA... I want to be able to run without stopping.

I WANT THIS.... so why do I sabotage myself every time I get close?

There is something in my head that does not want me to succeed. I have tried to figure out what it is.. but I cant think of anything. Am I afraid I might not like what I see? Will I never be good enough?

How did I lose the first 25 lbs? It absolutely amazes me when I think about it. What was I doing different?

Its time to go back in time:

Day 108: 193.5 (December 31, 2007)

YAHOOOOO! That is a total weight loss of 3.5 lbs this week. This brings my total weight loss in 2007 to 21.5 lbs!! Not too shabby. I think I have figured out my portion sizes.. and that seems to be making the big difference! Also, my wogging has become , do I dare say it, FUN. Yes, I am loving my morning woggs and because of this new found joy I wogg every morning. I may not do 3 miles every day, but 1 mile here and there makes my days so much better.

This is the last time I saw a REAL loss... One that did not involve losing the same 5 lbs over and over.

Food has been good. My portions are staying small even though I have gotten over my flu. I really think that is what was making the difference in my weight loss.

This is one of the answers... smaller portions. I have been eating HUGE. I think what I have become used to thinking is 'normal' is really 'supersized'. So.. that is one thing I will start working on again.

The other thing I noticed was that I was running a LOT. 7-10 miles a week. So, back to the treadmill. I need to get in at least 1 mile a day....

Thank God for blogging. I really gained a lot more motivation and knowledge. The best part is, I know that what I read works for me! Because it was me!

So, I am on schedule for a morning run today. Smaller portions and lots of water. I'm ready....

Monday, July 21, 2008

Yesterday Is Done

This weekend was a blast. I got my tattoo.. Angel got her ears pierced and Hubby and I celebrated our anniversary. I couldn't have asked for anything more.....wait! .....I could have been 100 x's better with my food. My breakfast was great. I am hooked on my whey protein, banana and coffee shakes for breakfast... but the rest of the day was horrible. Sonic hamburger and tots for lunch, hot dogs for dinner. Last night I had a midnight snack of Poptarts. WTF????? I NEVER eat midnight snacks... and poptarts??UGH!

So, I had 420 calories in the middle of the night... I AM NOT weighing in this morning!! I am just going to do what I tell everyone else to do.

"Yesterday is done... today is a new day. Lets make it a good day!"

So, I have a run planned for this morning. I honestly do NOT feel like doing it.. but I will grab a banana, pull on my running shoes and get my butt moving. I need to drink gallons of water and keep my hands busy so I don't munch all day long. Cleaning and Knitting... that should do it!!

Saturday, July 19, 2008

My Tattoo Fix.....

I got my tattoo... "Tiger"

and Angel got her ears pierced! She didn't even shed a tear....

Friday, July 18, 2008

Its Friday and I don't feel as good about this week as I did about last week. I've had one too many slip ups and not as many workouts to see another 3 pound loss on Monday. I'm hoping to still see a loss though!

I got some great tips for journaling what I eat through out the day. I think the one thing that will work for me is pre-planning my food for the day. If its already on paper then I will be more likely to stick to it. If I start with a blank paper, I may just go out of control! So I will be checking out Sparkpeople every morning to plan out a menu for the day and make sure the calories are on track... then I will write them down on a paper and tape it up somewhere in the kitchen. I'll try it over the weekend and let you know on Monday if it was a success.

I don't have a lot going on today so I am going to take the girls into town. We have been home all week and I think we are all suffering from cabin fever. Its time to go see what the rest of the world is doing! I would love to go walk around the city park but the trail goes right by the jungle gym and swings. Once the girls see swings I will be stuck there for at least an hour before we can keep walking. So I think I will pass on the park.

I have to get a good workout in today. I don't think I will have time tomorrow to go to the gym for my Saturday 'free' day. My appointment for my tattoo is at 1 pm and a good 40 minutes away. I don't want to have to drive into town twice in one day. So.. that means I will do my weights and a run on the treadmill tonight.

Sunday is going to be another day on the golf course... I am really looking forward to it.

I will see y'all on Monday!! Stay focused and make this weekend really count!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Body Image

One of the hardest things for me to deal with is body image. I am constantly asking Hubby if I look better now then I did at 220 lbs. He, of course, looks at me like I'm crazy and goes on to tell me all the changes he sees in me. It is always wonderful to hear it... but why cant I see it? I do see it in my before/after pics.. that's a given... but why cant I see it every day? Have I forgotten what I looked like in the mirror when I was that big? Have I forgotten the way I trembled at the thought of putting on a pair of jeans? How I wore maternity shirts in order to hide the huge muffin top I had.

Its funny though. Because at 220 lbs I thought I looked GOOD! I didn't think I was all that big. I was just a 'little' heavy.

WOW... does my mind like to play tricks on me!! I think I'm skinny when I'm fat and fat when I'm skinny. Good grief, no wonder I have an eating disorder.

How do I fix this.... well.... I'm not sure. What I will continue to do is ask Hubby how good I look all the time. (who doesn't want to hear that everyday?) and continue to focus on being healthy. I am not looking to have the perfect body. So what if I have a bump here and a stretch mark there... I should feel beautiful and comfortable in my body... and a healthy body it will be!

I am going to get a little strict with myself today. I am going to make myself write down everything I eat. I know, I should be doing that already... but I hate the thought of being tied down to a pen and paper every time I eat something. Of course, in my freedom to bite and not write I have come down with a case of selective memory. I only remember what I want to remember. "I had a banana for breakfast (and half of daughters waffle, milk and toast), salad for lunch (with a tortilla and two lollipops) and fish for dinner (with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich before bed)"

Yeah... I need to get a little strict with myself!

Today's plan is to run. I didn't do any exercise yesterday and am feeling a little bit lazy , so its time to get sweaty! I also have karate class again tonight since Hubby's back is still not 100%.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Happy Anniversary!

(this was our wedding picture)

Today Hubby and I have been together for 5 years, married for 4 years! I can honestly say that it is the longest I have ever stayed with a man. I know I married the right one because I have no plan on ever leaving him! We work well together and balance each other out. He is the love of my life and I thank God for him everyday.

For my anniversary present Hubby wants to buy my tattoo. I am SO excited. I made an appointment for Saturday afternoon. I will be getting the Chinese character for TIGER on the back of my neck.

Hubby is having some severe lower back pain. I think it is kidney stones, but he is adamant that it is a pulled muscle. He doesn't look very well though. I hope it is a pulled muscle as I know that kidney stones can be extremely painful. I am just hoping that he will be better by Sunday so that we can play another round of golf! He is at work right now, so apparently the pain is bearable right now.

On to food... I have slipped a couple of times in the last two days. Too many carbs. I need to straighten up and get to losing more weight. I have a couple of challenges going on. Dancer-In-Me has challenged me to a race.... who will reach 189 first? I don't have far to go, but my mind and body likes to challenge each other and it makes for a roller coaster of a ride.

Groovybabe has a challenge going on that is also a race... to lose 10% of your body weight.

If I plan on doing well on either of these I better get serious.

Have a great day bloggers!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Guest Writer

Jog Those Blues Away – Jogging Tips for All by Heather Johnson

You’ve got to admit it - jogging is a great way to stay fit; Sometimes, when it’s a question of health, you’re literally running for your life. Jogging helps you jog those blues away in addition to helping you lose weight. There are few precautions you need to take however, to enjoy a safe and injury-free jogging experience. Here are a few pointers for those about to take the first step of that long run every day:

Warm up with some stretching exercises before you start out and cool down once you’re done.

Wear sensible, comfortable footwear that absorbs shock to minimize the damage to your knees.

Start out slowly, with a 20 or 30 minute slow run for a week or so before you ease into a longer stretch.

Comfortable clothes that absorb perspiration make your jogging experience even more enjoyable.

Know your running area well to prevent trip-ups and falls that could cause serious injuries or sprains.

Plan your route so that you don’t end up running randomly.

Run early in the morning or in the evening after the sun has set to prevent sunstrokes.

Stay clear of roads with heavy traffic.

Protect your skin with sunscreen lotions and hats in the summer or petroleum jelly and gloves in the winter.

Drink water around 20 minutes before you begin your run and every 30 minutes into it. Carry your bottle in a pouch designed to be worn comfortably around your waist.

Do not listen to music on headphones while jogging in areas with traffic as it could prove dangerous.

When jogging alone, carry identification information on you that will help in emergencies.

Being regular helps you get used to the feel of your feet pounding the pavement that much sooner.

If you’re too tired to continue, stop and take deep breaths and walk for a while. If you’re not able to do even that, turn around and slowly walk home. You risk injuries when you push your body harder than it’s able to go.

If you’re unable to brave the weather outside to take your daily run, switch to the treadmill instead of skipping your workout altogether.

Jogging is much easier if you’re already fit. If you’re not, make your workout lighter on yourself by eating healthy food, drinking plenty of water and avoiding cigarettes. Before you start any exercise routine, it’s wise to talk to your medical practitioner.

This post was contributed by Heather Johnson, who writes on the subject of
lpn schools. She invites your feedback at heatherjohnson2323 at gmail dot com.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Weigh Day = Goal 190

Weight this morning 193.

3 pounds away from goal. I'm not going to be negative though. It still means I have lost 3 lbs this week!!! So even though I didn't reach goal, I will celebrate with a bowl of strawberries, blueberries and a spoonful of whip cream!!

Yesterdays golf game was a blast. It was stormy all day, but didn't rain until we were done. It made for the perfect weather! I didn't do great, but I kept up with Hubby. I don't remember the exact numbers, but he beat me by 8 strokes.. so it was close! We are going to play again next weekend to celebrate our anniversary.

I'm not sure I would consider yesterday a 'rest' day. My legs are killing me from all the walking we did. I drank two huge bottles of water and Gatorade.... so I am wandering if my body got a chance to drop all the water it's been holding on to.

I have a month until my next Weigh Day. I'm hoping to be close to 180 by then. If I want to get there I am going to have to really stick to my diet. I don't think it will be easy though. For some reason my body does not dropping into new numbers. It took me FOR-E-VER to get out of the 200's... now it will be the same with the 190's. I have to focus... keep motivated...and just do it. I'm not going to let myself down this summer. I am going to look back and think.. 'wow, I finally did it!'.

I have a run scheduled for this morning. 2 miles.... maybe even 3 again!

I think I will stick to my 1 mile walks after dinner. It really helps me from munching at night.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Weekend Warrior

I have had a great day... so far! Food is on track (even though the Hubby and kids have already had chocolate, Pizza and chips!) I have stuck to my protein shakes, veggies and water!

In a last minute decision I opted to give myself a change and go to the Gym today instead of my regular home workout. I stuck with my scheduled Legs and Back workout, only difference was the chance to use awesome machines! I also hopped on the stationary bike and sat there for 30 min. I could have gone longer but my butte could not. It was falling asleep by the 10th minute.. so finishing at 30 minutes was quite the accomplishment.

I did the superwoman change and hopped into the pool and swam 10 good laps. I would have gone longer except there was a tea party going on in the pool and it was annoying me to no end. Why are you in the lap pool if your just going to stand there and talk?? Really, that's all they did. For the entire 10 minutes I swam, they sat there talking... IN THE MIDDLE OF THE POOL!!! Ugh.

So, then I decided I needed to relax a little and sat in the sauna. The steam was excruciatingly HOT... but every muscle in my body could be heard saying "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh". 10 minutes later I was back in my hot car heading home.

I am now completely exhausted and relaxed. Hmmmmm... if Hubby continues keeping the girls busy I may just take a nap!!

Tomorrow is a rest day... but Hubby and I are off to play 18 holes of Golf in the morning!! YEAH!

Friday, July 11, 2008

Protein Power

It is Friday and I am still going strong. Although I've had some minor food issues, I've stayed on track as far as doing a low carb diet. I have also exercised everyday keeping to my schedule :

Run 1.5 - 3 miles = Monday, Wednesday & Friday
Weights = Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday
Rest day is Sunday

On top of my scheduled workouts I have done a mile after dinner on 3 of those days and a karate class! It feels great to be back on track and going strong!

As far as my food is concerned I have found a perfect schedule for me. In the morning I eat fruit. Usually a banana for energy. I do my workout and then drink one of my favorite whey protein smoothies. Lunch is a tuna fish salad. My snack is a protein bar. Dinner is whatever Hubby is in the mood for... I just make sure to make the portions small and NO BREAD! As long as I am eating or drinking something every 3 hours I am happy.

I have a run scheduled for this morning, which is great because it is a blistery day outside. It is also grocery day and I have to go with the mindset that I will not buy anything that is not healthy, low in calories and low in fat. My cart will look like a miniature rain forest. Lots of greens, fruits and vegetables. I will stay out of the junk isle!


Banana/Coffee Whey Protein Smoothie:

1.5 cups Soy Milk
2 med bananas
1 tblsp decaf instant coffee
1 scoop whey protein powder

Blend and enjoy! (makes 2 servings)

Protein Bar : I usually buy Cliff Bars.. but Mark Salinas posted this recipe on his blog and it is DELICIOUS!!

1 Cup Protein Powder
1 Cup Oatmeal
1 Cup Krispies (I used Puffed Wheat)
3/4 Cup Organic Peanut Butter
1/4 Cup Honey

Mix well and place in pan. Flatten it down and let it set in the refrigerator! YUMMY!!

Thursday, July 10, 2008

I'm Only Human....

and the great thing about being human is... you can't be perfect. I ate over my calories yesterday, but not too badly. In fact it was only 200 calories over. It just wasn't a healthy 200 calories. I did, however, feel yucky about it last night. So I hopped on the treadmill after dinner and walked a good mile.

I have to say that I am flattered by all the readers who have said that I inspire them. In truth, it is you that inspires me!! I would have given up long ago if I had not met you. Knowing that I am not the only one in this world that struggles with a food disorder, losing weight and life in general has really made me determined to beat it. For myself, yes, but also to help show everyone else that , although it is like walking through hell sometimes, it is possible to reach your goals! I will say this over and over.... If I Can Do It, You Can Do It!

Speaking of catchy phrases. I heard Tony Horton say this on one of his P90X workouts (I think it was plyometrics): YOU CAN DO ANYTHING FOR 30 SECONDS.

If you keep that phrase in the back of your mind while working out, you will see a tremendous change. When I am struggling in my running and ready to slow it down to a nice easy pace I think: I can do anything for 30 seconds... and I run that 30 seconds as best I can. I have been able to finish a lot of cardio stronger then before because of those little words. Every time I run I get a little farther! Give it a try, see if it helps you!

I have a pretty good workout set up for me today. Shoulders & Arms this morning. Tang Soo Do tonight.

Also, I changed my goal date to July 14th...... I don't want to weigh myself until after a rest day, otherwise my body is heavy with water retention. My rest days allow me to re-hydrate and lose all the water my muscles are holding on to. Lets keep our fingers crossed for 190!!!

Wednesday, July 09, 2008


I was catching up on my blog reading yesterday and came across Dancer-In-Me. On her blog was a list of reasons why she wanted to lose the weight. Her goal is to read that list 3X a day! Brilliant! A constant reminder of why we are pushing ourselves to be healthy. I had to have one... so I made this and posted it on my refrigerator and cupboards:

My list is in no particular order...
1. To be healthy
2. To be happy
3. To be a good example to the girls
4. To like what I see in the mirror
5. To feel good in my clothes
6. To feel comfortable in public
7. To live longer
8. To enjoy shopping again
9. To look good in a bathing suit
10. To get better at MMA
11. To look good next to Matt
12. To fit into my old jeans
13. To fit into a size 9 (smaller then my old jeans)
14. To look great at Disneyland
15. To have awesome arms
16. To be able to run a 5k (without stopping to walk)
17. To look great in lingerie
18. To be a fun mom
19. To be a trophy wife
20. To reach my goal
It helped me. I walked into the kitchen a couple of times, saw the list (didn't necessarily read it) and walked out. If you are anything like me you know why your doing this, you just have bouts of selective memory every now and then. Well, this list didn't let me be too selective. It was a constant reminder. I read it twice while I was making dinner... and didn't snack, didn't over eat... and I walked a mile after dinner.
I suggest doing this if you are having a hard time staying motivated!!
In an hour I will be back on the treadmill wogging. I have to do 1.75 miles.. but am hoping I get a little more motivated while I'm on there and do 3 miles again!
I have 2 perfect days in my pocket... I am seriously hoping this will be my perfect week!!!

Tuesday, July 08, 2008


I did great yesterday. I stuck to my plan and it worked. I wanted to start this week off with a bang, so I hopped on the treadmill and ran 3 miles. My average was 17 min/mile. I know that is a turtles pace compared to some of you rabbits out there.. but it's a start. The fact that I set a goal and completed it makes me very happy.
Todays workout is chest and back with a 20 min walk on the treadmill after lunch.
I find that I am very motivated after I workout. So I am going to try and use this to help me stop munching in the afternoons.... I am working out later in the morning so that when I have my protein shake it is already 11 a.m. That keeps me full until 1 or 2 in the afternoon when I eat my lunch. I will take a brisk 20 min walk on the treadmill afterwards. I can still have a snack around 4 or 5.... and then dinner is at 6. This worked out really well yesterday. I stayed on track and didn't find myself looking through kitchen cupboards.

I have to remember that food is my problem. I like to eat too much... and that is no way to lose weight. If I quit working out, I would gain weight like crazy. I think the fact that I do workout like a crazy woman is the only reason I am still in this game.
I considered stopping my workouts and focusing on food only. That would kill me. Workouts are my motivation, like I said earlier. If I were to stop working out I would get lazy, and that would lead to boredom which would then lead to boredom eating, which would lead to me gaining all the weight back and falling into the black hole of fat.

I have to workout. Our bodies were meant to move!! I just need to remember that food is what is keeping me from succeeding.
I am going to find terrible pics of myself and tape them to the refrigerator. Like these:

That should keep me from eating!!

Have a good day.. see you tomorrow!

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Step by Step

If you look at my blog over the past two years you will find a pattern. Monday morning I am strong willed and head strong, ready to kick myself into shape. Wednesdays I find myself winding down. By Friday I am having trouble with my food and my exercise routines is lacking. The weekends are filled with lazy days and bad food choices... and Monday morning I am guilt ridden and ready to start all over again. Determined that this week will be the perfect week.

This pattern can drive a person crazy... but at the same time, it is this pattern that has kept me somewhat on track.

In my head I feel like I could whip myself into shape in a month. Eat nothing but healthy food, workout 3 hours a day, lose 50 lbs and be the perfect size 9.

In my head that is what I am doing. In real life, I am battling with my food disorder, I am a mother of two very active toddlers who don't give me time to do all the workouts I want to, and I am the perfect size 14. It is sometimes heart breaking when I think back at how long it has taken me to come this far. I am standing at the bottom of a staircase, and it has taken me a year to take the first step up.

So, the second step is looming in the future somewhere. Between here and there is a maze of food choices, workouts, water hazards and life.

Tomorrow is Monday... another fresh start. Depending on my choices, this week could bring me another inch, or another foot, closer to that second step. I would prefer the later of the two.. but then, that would be up to me now... wouldn't it.

Friday, July 04, 2008

Happy 4th of July!!!! - Custom comment codes for MySpace, Hi5, Friendster and more

This weekend is the worst weekend to start counting calories.. but it must be done! I am headed to the treadmill right now to run 2 miles. I will only consume 1500 calories today and I will enjoy the day with my family.

(thinking positive is sometimes all the motivation you need!)

Thursday, July 03, 2008

I'm Hungry

The problem with working out all the time is that I am ALWAYS hungry. After my morning workout I am OK.. because I know that lunch is right around the corner. But its my late classes that make me come home and eat at 10 o'clock at night. That is a big no-no.

Like usual, my workouts are rockin, but my food choices are cruddy. Today I am going to change that. I am making my favorite cabbage and lentil soup this morning and am going to eat it all day... that's right, every time I'm hungry I will heat up a bowl. Cabbage soup is great for you... and its filling. I am hoping that this will help me calorie wise.

So, last nights new class was great! There were 4 women in that class!! and..... we did floor work! Which means I finally grappled with another woman. I guess fighting with all those men really paid off, because I rocked! She came close a couple of times, but I was able to get out of them.

I will probably go to that class once a month...

Today I have a full schedule. I have shoulders and arms this morning... Yoga tonight. It should make for a sore Tigerlilly tomorrow!

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

A New Class...

I have to say that the flow of supportive words in yesterdays comments were fantastic. Thank you!

I have, indeed, decided to go for it. That doesn't mean much right now except that I will have to really start paying attention during classes.. and practice a little more at home. I have a lot of weight to lose before I would be at a comfortable fighting weight.. so that will be my first focus. It is hard enough staying strong through a fight, I don't need to do it with 40 extra pounds hanging on me. Once I am down to 155, then I will have to start competing in local competitions to get a fighting record started. Then it will just depend on how well I do. The best part is that I feel like I am finally going to do something that I have been dreaming about for years.

The first step is to take an extra class here and there at a different training school. That will start tonight. I am going to take a class from a neighboring town. The Master there was a student of my Master now, and he has started his own class. It will help to learn from someone with a different teaching style.

In order to get this weight off of me, and to strengthen my stamina, I will have to keep the running up. I have been doing it three days a week, but might up that to five days a week.

This has helped give me a little more **umph**

Has anyone seen these shoes? They are called MBT's. They look absolutely fantastic... I would love to try them out.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

How old is too old??

Mixed martial arts is a huge success right now with the UFC. It has gone from non-existent to instant success. To be a MMA fighter you have to be knowledgeable in many different areas. The most popular are Muay Thai and Brazilian Jui Jitsu.

Right now it is dominated by men. There are a few women fighters, like my favorite Gina Carano.... but there will be a day when the women fighters become a bigger part of it all. My question is, will I be too old then to compete?

Hubby and some other friends and family think that I should be training to fight Pro. I used to compete regularly in Tae Kwon Do... but that was 13 years ago. Right now I am training with men who are currently trying to get on the UFC circuit... and I hold my ground well. Even my Jui Jitsu has improved immensely (although I rarely get the chance to do this with another woman). I figure that it would take me at least 2 years to get to the point where I would be anywhere near good enough to fight like they do... (and be down to the 155 weight class). That would make me going in as a new fighter at the age of 32.

Now, I know that 32 is NOT old. But the new fighters going into the UFC right now are between 19-25 .... The older ones have been fighting for years and already have their places. Gina Carano is 28....but she has been doing this for years.

Anyway, I shared my feelings with Hubby and he looked at me like I was crazy. Then I hopped on the computer and found a comment on my blog from Mark Salinas. I checked out his blog.... and what did I find??? The perfect answer ....

*After struggling for years to have a baby, Torres finally became pregnant
with Tessa. At the time, she began swimming again for exercise, because, she
says, she had terrible morning sickness and she’d “rather throw up in the
pool gutter than next to the StairMaster.” But predictably, Torres soon
found herself racing “whoever the middle-aged guy happened to be in the next
lane,” even when she was noticeably pregnant. Three and a half months
postpartum, she raced at the Masters World Championships. Fifteen minutes
after nursing Tessa in the bathroom, she swam the first leg of the 50-meter
freestyle relay in 25.98 seconds — fast enough to qualify for this week’s
Olympic trials.

Torres is now 41 and the mother of a 2-year-old daughter,
Tessa Grace. She broke her first of three world records in 1982, at 14, .and
she has retired from swimming and come back three times, her latest effort
built on an obsessive attention to her aging body. Last November in Germany,
Torres clocked 23.82 seconds in the 50-meter freestyle short course,
breaking the American record and making her one of only five women to swim
the event in less than 24 seconds.

The day after she got home to South Florida, she had a bone spur shaved out of her shoulder. In early January, she had another operation, to deal with a torn meniscus in her knee.

After all of the setbacks, challenges…she is one qualifying race away
from making the Olympic team!

Monday, June 30, 2008

The Difference....

It was a great weekend. I learned a lot. Like how much my body hates me when I eat nothing but crap! I had ZERO energy, my stomach cramped up and I was in a fog all day. Ok, so the cramping up was because I am lactose intolerant and ate ICE CREAM... yes, I was stupid. But in that stupidity I learned that I cant go back to feeling like that ever again. Of course, I lived like that for years (which is how I made it to 225 lbs). I must have become numb to the pain, the depression and the lack of energy.

Now that I have lived the good life. Eating great, working out, having tons of energy and no depression.... I don't ever want to stop! Now, I may have to have that occasional fall back, just to remind myself.. but I will never return to that life again.

My weight this morning was 196. Yes, a gain... but no wonder! I haven't had water in two days (my wedding ring is tight) and I haven't worked out since Thursdays run.

I have to have goals. I feel stagnant if I don't have one to move towards.. so here they are:

1st goal: JULY 11 = 190 lbs

2nd goal: AUGUST 1 = 180 lbs

3rd goal: SEPTEMBER 1 = 170 lbs

4th goal: OCTOBER 1 = 160 lbs

This will give me a month to lose 10 lbs... do-able? I think it is! Why did I stop in October? Because on Oct. 4th we are on the train to Disneyland.... and, unlike last year, I want to look great! No more squeezing into my jeans... and no more hiding behind a shirt at the pool!

I have 3 full months that I have to focus. No cheating on the weekends.. no missing workouts... no sad excuses. I know I've said this (to you and myself) a million times, but this time I want to prove that I can get serious, buckle down and do it!

Today's Plan:

2 mile run
Chest and Back, Abs

I need to replenish my body with water.... lots of water!

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Weekend Weakness

Baby's party was a blast yesterday. It was the perfect number of friends and family. We grilled some hot dogs and ate tons of cake and ice cream... Some pics of the happy day:

The Pinata!!

The Cake!!

The FUN!!!
So, it is 8:30 in the morning and I have already had a couple of bites of leftover birthday cake.. and I'm sure it wont stop there.. but I'm not going to stress about food today.. I'm just going to have a good, relaxing day. I will be a true procrastinator and say... I'll start again tomorrow!

Friday, June 27, 2008

TTLTWIOAIF (thank the lord this week is over and its friday)

Not that this week has been bad... I'm just looking forward to the weekend! In fact, I look forward to every weekend in July too! July is the month of rodeo's, picnics, cage fights, anniversary's and more. This is officially the busiest month for our family. I love it though.

Anyway, this weekend is Baby's birthday party with friends and family. I have a couple of things to get done tonight.. but otherwise it will be a stress free gathering with lots of food and fun.

This week HAS been bad in one way... my food. I have eaten more crap then normal. Cupcakes....yes, I indulged head first into the icing, batter and whatever else was sitting on the counter! Macaroni and Cheese... this is something I don't usually have a problem NOT eating because it reminds me of my old grade school and makes my stomach grumble in an unnatural way... but I ate it anyway. Bread...lots of bread. Ugh...

Yesterday I finally saw the light. I know that my problem with food is in my head. For some reason I have a switch that turns on the 'I'm Hungry' sign in my belly permanently. This switch is sometimes, to easily, turned on. Last night I finally turned it back off and hung a 'DO NOT TOUCH' sign on it.

I need to focus on the food I CAN eat... instead of dreaming about the food I CAN'T eat. Really, I don't crave bread unless I'm thinking about not being able to eat it. It's the ol' you want what you cant have thing. So.. focus on veggies, fish, salads, protein shakes and fruit. FOCUS, FOCUS, FOCUS.

Last night I ran 2 miles.. and then went to my Tang Soo Do class. Yes, I thought I was crazy too.. but I needed to do it. Once I got to class I was a little worried.. we sparred for an hour. Four 15 minute fights. YIKES! I was amazed at what I did. I was sweating... I was feeling the pain... but I wasn't out of breath and I was able to keep fighting even though my legs were yelling STOP!!!! My endurance has never been that good. I think running is doing the trick!

So, I took a few good hits. One guy is fighting next weekend at a cage fight event in the next town over. Master A thought it would be a great idea for him to fight me.. I do have the best kicks in class! ... and get him used to taking a few hits now and then. I got him a few time and he countered with a few good punches to my face (I'm not used to using hands in sparring) and one good kick to my left leg that caused my left side to go numb. That pissed me off and I had to counter with a spinning round kick to his head.... I LOVE THIS!!!

Today I am sore.. but its a good thing. It is reminding me why I don't want to eat like crap ever again. I want to train my body.. I want to be in the best shape I can.. I want to kick butt next time I fight that guy!! LOL

Today's plan... I'm not sure. I might run, I might do Yoga...


Wednesday, June 25, 2008

The Bloggers Quilt

It is time for a meeting of the minds, the hearts and the hands....through a quilt.

I have been blogging for two years now. At first it was all about journaling for me. Writing down what I was feeling and why I thought I had gained so much weight. I blog today for the same reason, but also because I have found my niche in a community of friends that I cherish. I no longer blog for myself, but for the women (and the occasional man) who are grasping for help. We have all experienced life in its many colors, and we have all shared our stories with each other.

Today I am asking that we put our lives, our hearts and our stories into creating a single object. A quilt that will forever bind us as sisters, brothers and friends.

Here is what I am asking of all of you...

On a square of 12" X 12" cloth... get creative. Make that square a reflection of who you or your blog have become over the years. It doesn't have to be about weight loss... that is only a glimmer of what is inside all of us. Have you become a stronger woman? Have you taken a journey that you would have never taken before? ... think... imagine... create.

If you are interested in becoming part of this quilt... get started! Email me and let me know that you are working on it. You have until the end of October to get it done. If you don't know how to quilt, or don't have the time to quilt then just make the top and I will finish the quilting for you.

Make sure that your name... or your blogs name... is visible somewhere on that square!

Once I have recieved all the squares I will join them into one quilt.

Share this with every blogger you know. Lets see how big our family is!!


My baby is 3 years old today. I can't believe this much time has gone by. She has changed so much in the past year. Talking in full sentences and using the potty. Her loving personality has come through... I am a very blessed Mommy! She sure has changed from this little baby:

I ate cruddy last night. Not exercising apparently gave me a free ticket to bad eating. Four pieces of bread... ramen noodles... ugh!!! So, I have to get my mind focused again. I have a 2 mile run planned for this morning and then Core Synergistics tonight. Food is definitely going to be written down and counted. No more stalling....

On the other side, I am baking cup cakes for the girls today to do a little celebration of Baby's birthday. Her real party is on Saturday.... but I had to do something for today!

Here's to not diving into the icing head first!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

I know, I know, I'm late.....

But its not my fault. Something happened to my Internet service. Since 9 a.m. I have been checking the computer every hour, half hour and second to see if it had connected. Finally...5:30 pm and I am able to say 'hello'!

So.. today was a bust. I got a ton of cleaning done. Two huge piles of laundry have vanished and everyone has clean sheets. My calories...a little on the high side but not horrendous. My workout, well, I am exhausted. I usually have Tang Soo Do class tonight, but Hubby has asked to switch nights I think I might take the night off. Get the girls settled in their room early, relax in my nice clean bed and read a book.

As for the tattoo... I did not like how long the words 'tiger lily' were in Korean... so I looked up TIGER in Chinese... check it out:

Of course it will be smaller... about an inch in diameter. I am going to try and get it done this weekend... YAY!!

Monday, June 23, 2008

I had a great weekend.. if you don't include the food. Once again, I have stayed on track Monday thru Friday only to give into temptation all weekend. I used to beat myself up about this, but I have learned one very important thing. If your not enjoying life, then your not living it. I enjoy my training all week...but I enjoy my weekends just as much. If I didn't have my weekends to look forward to I would lose it.

The one big change that I see is that I am much more active on the weekends then I used to be. Sure, I have a hamburger one day and an ice cream the next...but I also spent 4 hours on the golf course, cleaned the bathroom, cleaned my car, cleaned the chicken coop and did some gardening all in the same two days. I remember never leaving the couch on the weekends... and eating ALL DAY LONG.

So I may not be losing weight as fast as I want to... but I think I have found a pace that I am happy with. I can focus on my body all week....and then focus on having fun all weekend. That seems like the perfect mix!

So, it's Monday morning and its time to get back into gear. I have a 2 mile run planned for this morning... and then Yoga tonight.

On a side note...I am getting another tattoo but I need help finding it. Does anyone know how to write in Korean?? I want to tattoo the words "tiger lily" on the back of my neck in korean......

Sunday, June 22, 2008

I played Golf yesterday!! First time in 20 years.... really! The last time I played was when I was 10 years old. My dad was a self proclaimed golf pro and he loved to take me out to play 18 holes. I was not thrilled to be out there... which is why I never played again... until yesterday!! Hubby bought a set of brand new golf clubs from his sister for $50. Granny picked up the girls in the morning and Hubby and I ran off to the golf course. I have to say I was a little worried that it was going to be a horrible experience.... instead, Hubby and I had a great day! I wasn't the best at it.. but I kept up! I zig-zaged my way down the fairways.... my strongest point was putting. Once I got on the green it only took me one hit to get it in the hole! My scores were terrible... 74 on the first 9... 63 on the back 9!!! Just so you know... a really good game is in the 30's!!

I am taking a rest day today. Cleaning the house is on the to-do list....

Friday, June 20, 2008

Some of you may remember that I am a huge fan of Gillian McKeith. Her no nonsense ways are brilliant. Well, she has come out with a new book... and lucky me got a copy!
Don't worry, it's not another diet book. This is even better. It teaches you what foods you should eat to help heal your body. Have allergies? Chron's disease? Varicose veins? She has the cure! What to eat, what to stay away from and supplements that will make up for the rest. I have already passed along her advice to some family and friends who I think would benefit from it....
In Gillian McKeiths words:

" I've decided to put my life's work into one must-have food bible. It's a book you can dip in and out of or read cover to cover. You can search for specific foods or ailments, or learn just how foods affect your well being, from head to toe, birth to old age. Whether you want to learn what to eat to help protect you from winter colds, sail through the menopause or banish your IBS, my book provides the answers at your fingertips. Think of me as your personal food oracle. No need to struggle alone!"
I am loving this book. Learning more about the good things that certain foods bring to your body makes you a lot more conscious of what you put in your mouth!
Want to buy the book? Check out this website!

Interested in learning more from Gillian McKeith? Follow these links:

Take her new health quiz here!!

Thursday, June 19, 2008

I Have A Ninja Side.....

After an hour of fiddling on my computer... (apparently I am not as computer smart as I thought I was).. I was able to download pics from a disc one of the guys in class had given me. It was kind of weird seeing myself in uniform. I know this sounds terrible.. but I don't look as good as I thought I did. That happens a lot to me... you know, you put on a favorite new outfit thinking you look hot.. and then someone takes a picture of you and you see it weeks later and you think: "What was I thinking??"

I think the problem is when I put that uniform on I think I look as good as I did when I was 16... my 16 yr old brain has not caught up to my 30 year old body!! The good thing is that if I keep doing this I will eventually look as good as I think I do!!

This picture is of me after my run the other day.... I am adding it because MY ARMS HAVE NEVER LOOKED THAT GOOD!!!!!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

I Wanna Be Like Gina Carano

The one thing that bums me out is the lack of coverage on women athletes. It seems like you have to dig a little deeper. I know that there are thousands of awesome women out there that are kicking butt daily... but I have found one that I have chosen as my 'hero'.

I have seen her fight on TV a couple of times. They have called her 'the face of martial arts' for obvious reasons. She is also 'Crush' on the new American Gladiators. Check her out!
Do you have a favorite female athlete??

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Test Day

Angel has her last round of testing today for her speech therapy. There will be a meeting afterwards to talk about how they will go about helping her.

Yesterday the girls were playing with their Barbies when Baby's Barbie gashed Angel in the eye. She has a little scratch on the white of the eye... the rest is extremely red. I'm not sure if I should take her to the doctor or see if it heals by itself... anyone?? I looked it up on Webmd and it said that most scratches to the eye will heal in 1-2 days on there own... her pupil is reacting normal, so I don't think there is any serious bleeding or infection. She looks like she was hit by Mohamid Ali.

My workouts rocked yesterday. I ran 1.75 miles and did a full hour of chest and back. I am feeling it in every muscle today... I was going to do Yoga today.. but I have my Tang Soo Do class tonight and I think that will be plenty!

Food is on course, except for a bite or three of ice cream yesterday. No bread... We did have brown rice with dinner, but that is allowed!!

Have a great day!

Monday, June 16, 2008

Manic Monday

We had a great weekend. I stayed on track with food (no bread) and had a hard Legs and Back workout on Saturday. All day Sunday I was shaking anytime I had to sit down or stand up. Luckily I had a million things to do, so I stayed standing most of the day. Hubby got his Father's Day dinner of Lobster and shrimp.....the girls played with the lobsters in the kitchen while we all waited for the humongous pot of water to boil. They turned out delicious...and even Baby wanted more.
Hubby also got 'The Transporter' movies from the girls. Jason Statham is now my favorite actor...YUMMO!!!!

This morning my hamstrings were still extremely sore...but I still did my morning run. After a good stretch they are now feeling much better. I completed my Week 2 Day 1 of C25K.... running 1.75 miles. I am trying not to focus on my time because I know I am slow and I know it will frustrate me and make me quit.... So I am focusing on sweating. Yep... all I want at the end of my run is to be soaked to the bone with sweat. :)

Friday, June 13, 2008

The Girls....

As I was getting ready this morning for our appointment at Walmart for pictures.. I realized that I take better pictures then they ever have. Why do I pay them $100 for 3 crappy pictures, where one of us is always making a funny face but too bad because they are only allowed to take 5 pics per sitting...whatever. So, I decided I was going to take our pics. (with the help of my aunt) I spent $35 on paper and ink..... what do you think??

Onward and Downward....

Enough with the stories of the past... lets talk the future here.

My workouts have been awesome. I finished Week 1 of C25K this morning and am feeling strong. My knees are feeling the strain again. Its not pain that I feel, but water. I seem to have water forming right above my knee caps the day after I run. Its a very strange feeling...but it goes away in a day. I'm not sure what I can do about it.. if anything. Any of you avid runners have any pointers??

I am eating too much bread. Evil, evil bread. I'm sure I would be 20 lbs lighter right now if it weren't for my terrible cravings for bread. What makes it harder is that I have to have it in the house. The girls and Hubby love their sandwiches. Otherwise I would just stop buying it so the temptation would not be there. Of course, that is no way to strengthen my will power... so, I will just have to slap my hand whenever it reaches for the bread box.

I have found a delicious post workout recovery drink... Mix 1

15 grams of whey protein

23 vitamins and minerals

3 servings of fruit/veggies

antioxidants = to 4 cups of green tea

free of lactose, gluten, soy and caffeine

They taste delicious and have a bunch of flavors like tangerine, mango and berry. I bought mine at the local natural food store.

The girls and I are off to get professional pictures done....well, as professional as you can get at Walmart! LOL. We should be doing family pics, but getting Hubby in front of a camera is like pulling teeth on a mad rhino. So, I have given up the fight and decided that the picture will be all girls. It is also time to do Baby's 3rd birthday pics....

Today's Plan:

Run = week 1, day 3 of C25K

Legs and Back



Thursday, June 12, 2008

And Now... The Rest of The Story

My Dad had just passed away. His battle with cancer had lasted for 10 years. It was late at night. I remember my sister and I drinking coffee with Bailey's Irish Cream and watching the snow fall (we were laughing because my Dad hated snow and he managed to die right before a huge snow storm hit). I passed out in the early hours of morning...drunk. The next morning I remember feeling lost. It was only days after that I called the recruiter. Joining the Army was my sad attempt at running away from my life. I wanted to start over. Do something that would make my life mean something.

Being rejected from the Army was a blessing in disguise. Things would happen to my over the next four years that would define my life. I would go back to school and study medicine. Get an amazing job that had me traveling all over the state and still be home on the weekends with Mom. I would meet my amazing Hubby and have two beautiful girls....

I do wonder what would have happened had that medical director been there to sign my waiver. I wonder if I would have made it in Iraq.... I wonder if I would have met my Hubby anyway....would I have had a baby before my hysterectomy?

Looking back, I know God played a hand in what happened. Doesn't He always??

Today's Plan:



Water, Calories

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

I WANT To Run!!!

Not something I would normally say. I hate least, I used to. Lately I have been craving it. Feet pounding on the treadmill, sweat pouring into my eyes, legs burning.......OK, so I don't know what it is that makes me want to do this to myself but I am ready for my next run already!!

7 years ago...(OMG I cant believe it was that long ago).. I joined the Army. Well, I tried anyway. I weighed 196 lbs back then. When my recruiter weighed me he said I have to lose 21 lbs to qualify. So I started going to the gym and walking on the treadmill, bicycling, weight lifting... on my own for 6 weeks. I didn't lose a single pound. The recruiter decided to take it into his own hands. At 5 a.m. every morning he would pick me up, drive to the local park and make me run with him. Not just 1 mile... not even just 2... but 3, sometimes 4, miles!! I was not a good runner and he would get impatient with me... but after two weeks you could see a huge change in me. For one thing, I could keep up with him running for at least the first mile!!... the other change was kind of a funny one for me to notice... but my thighs quit rubbing together. I remember waking up one morning and walking to the kitchen and realized that there was air down there!! LOL ... So a month of that and my recruiter was positive that I had lost the weight and was ready to go.

He weighed me at his office... 191....yeah... only 5 lbs. I almost started to cry but the recruiter said it must be all muscle and that he was sending me to MEPS anyway. I don't remember what MEPS stands for, but it is where they do all the medical testing and paperwork to get you shipped off in the service.

The next day I was in the city standing in front of a huge building down town. I had my bag packed and I had said goodbye to my family. I was excited and scared to death. They had all the girls together for testing. I passed it all....until we got to the last station. The nurse weighed me...frowned...looked at me and asked me to step aside. She called over a couple of other nurses and they started to attack me with measuring tapes. According to my measurements I was a measly 1/2 a pound heavy...(I guess this was their way of figuring body fat), there were two choices. One was to go home and come back the next week, the other choice was to have the medical director sign a waiver that sent me to boot camp anyway. I opted for the waiver.... For hours I sat in the waiting room. Finally, my recruiter showed up and said that the medical director had been called out and that they decided to have me come back the next week.

The drive home was 4 hours long... and the entire way home I could not believe that a measly 1/2 pound had kept me from shipping out. I started to think that this may have been a sign... I mean, what else could it have been?? A half pound , the medical director being 'called away'... So, I decided God had something else in store for me and I told my recruiter I would not be returning. The next week the US went to war with Iraq....

My point to this story is ..... at 191 lbs I had body fat equal to someone at 175.5 pounds.... I am hoping that that is what is going on right now! I am still aiming for 175 pounds on the scale.. but as soon as my thighs quit touching I know I will be on my way!!

(In case you are wondering, there was a reason God did not send me away.... but that story is for another day)

Today's Plan:
Shoulders & Arms


Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Yesterdays workouts were awesome... I started the C25K ! I did the first run and it felt great. The first time I tried C25K was 8-9 months ago and I was wheezing the whole way. Yesterday I ran it without a single bad thought in my mind. When it was done I wanted to do it again!! I didn't ... but I wanted to!

I then did my Chest and Back weight workout. Push-ups and Chin-ups galore. I was a little bit weaker then I have been... not finishing some of the push-ups... but I think it was from not eating enough during the day. Not on purpose. I had a banana for breakfast and then didn't get to eat anything until 2:30... so I think my body was lacking a lot of energy. For those of you who are worried about my food... I do eat at least 1500 calories a day, and on big workout days like today I try to eat closer to 1800. As long as I stay under 2300 then I am losing!

Today's Plan:
Tang Soo Do


As much as I really want to run again today, I already have too much on my plate as it is. Plyo is an hour of jumping. Athletes do this workout to make them faster. I am just doing it because it burns A LOT of calories.

I will run again tomorrow.

My motivation is at its ultimate high. I am feeling the changes in my body. My arms are MUCH smaller then they were last summer... and I am just all around healthier. I want to keep feeling these changes... and I want to start seeing results again... so no more slacking. Its time to suck it up and get going... 40 more lbs to lose... that's it!!

Monday, June 09, 2008

Monday Morning

I had a great weekend. Saturday I got to leave the kids with Hubby and took our Basset Hound Woodroe to the park where there was a HUGE craft show going on. There were hundreds of people there and I was lucky enough to find a parking spot inside the park. The Humane Society had a 'Shot Tent' were I got Woodroe caught up on his rabies shots. We walked around and visited with all the people who were amazed to see a Basset Hound and just had to pet him. I didn't mind... he was loving the attention... you could tell because as exhausted as he was from walking so much he was still holding his head up high and wagging his tail. After 3 hours it was time to go home. Woodroe did not want to get out of the car when we got home... I think he was having too much fun. I really should do that more often.

Sunday was a work day in the yard. Hubby and I got the yard cleaned up, grass watered and started on another fence along the side yard. Mom and her boyfriend came over in the afternoon and just hung out with us... We played with the girls out in the yard for a little while and enjoyed the wonderful weather.

Workout??? Didn't know the meaning of the word all weekend. I didn't even think about it for a minute. That's ok... because this morning I am ready to hop on the treadmill and get moving. I think I am going to start C25K again. I did really well the first time, but kinda lost track of running. So.. lets try it again. Running seems to kick start my body into losing weight... and I have a summer full of fun that I want to look good for!!

Today's Plan:


Chest & Back


Water and Food

Have a great Monday!!

Friday, June 06, 2008

And the winners are.....

Inspired by Diabetes is a global campaign asking people with diabetes, as well as their family, friends and healthcare professionals, to express how diabetes has impacted their lives — and share those stories with others around the world.

Some stories are inspired by small triumphs. Others, by overcoming great challenges. And for some children around the world, the challenge is no less than life or death.The spirit of the Inspired by Diabetes initiative is to bring families and people with diabetes together to raise awareness of the global burden of diabetes — and draw particular attention to people who do not have the resources they need to fight diabetes.

People around the world sent in poems, essays, music, pictures and artwork. All of it expressing life with diabetes.

One of the judges was Elliot Yamin, an American Idol finalist, whose life was affected by diabetes when he was diagnosed at age 16.

"I was feeling ill for about 2 1/2 weeks. My mom [who has type 2 diabetes] tested my blood sugar and it was high. This all happened on a Sunday, so we went to the emergency room, where they tested my blood sugar at 870 mg/dl."

Elliott spent several years on multiple daily injections and experienced a number of hypoglucemic seizures. It wasn't until he was 21 years old, when he met a co-worker who was wearing an insulin pump, that he started thinking about pump therapy.

"He showed me his pump and how it worked and all that." He made an appointment with his co-worker's endocrinologist and worked hard to lower his A1C in preparation for the pump. About four months later, he was hooked up and pumping.As diabetics often do, we touched upon "a cure."

"I want a cure. Of course I want a cure. And I think we're getting close. I'm happy to be able to use my position and my voice to be involved in these great programs and charities. It would be a sin for me not to do anything [to raise awareness]."

(click here for more of his interview)

By entering the competition, participants have had a direct impact on the lives of children with diabetes around the world.

In honor of the participants from the United States, Lilly made a $50,000 donation to ADA for scholarships for low-income children to attend ADA diabetes camps. For each entry into the global contest, Lilly is donating money to IDF's Life for a Child Program, which provides life-saving diabetes supplies to more than 1,000 children in 17 developing countries.

"We're humbled by the response to the campaign and the depth of personal experiences communicated in the stories and expressions received," said Stewart Perry, Chair of the Board, American Diabetes Association. "We hope these creative expressions will illuminate the many commonalities of a complicated disease, reinforce a community of support and inspire people to realize that they have a lot to contribute in the fight against diabetes."

U.S. Grand Prize winners will have their submissions entered into the global competition. Winners of the global contest will be announced this fall.


-- Adult with Diabetes - Betsy Ray, Colorado

After managing diabetes for 43 years, Ray is working on a master's degree in psychology to serve as a resource to newly-diagnosed children with diabetes. Her motivation was born out of her desire to help others see diabetes in a new light, beyond the often negative constructs of the disease. Ray entered an essay called "The Journey." "As I reflect upon challenges I have faced as a result of diabetes ... I must also acknowledge the rewards," she wrote. "Diabetes has grown my spirit in a way that no normal life ever could ... It is so far beyond what I was told my life would be that I can only respond to the people I meet by telling them 'Anything is possible. You are on a journey. How you define it is up to you.'"

-- Child with Diabetes - Erin Tetreault, Idaho

Tetreault, 17, was diagnosed with diabetes at age 9. Inspired by her experiences at diabetes summer camp -- where she first learned about the Inspired by Diabetes campaign -- Tetreault hopes that more young people with diabetes can benefit from the emotional and educational support that these specialty camps provide. Her painting, "Self-Acceptance," depicts a young woman wearing an insulin pump. "Four years ago I would have been too self-conscious to paint my bare stomach with my pump proudly displayed," she wrote in her accompanying narrative. But because of diabetes camp, "I've learned to be myself and not worry if I'm different or not accepted."

--Health Care Professional - Theresa Garnero, California

Despite not having diabetes herself, Garnero is no stranger to this condition. Garnero draws diabetes-focused cartoons for various medical publications and also serves as a clinical nurse manager at a major medical center in California. She believes humor is a necessary component when talking about diabetes, saying, "If you laugh, you learn." In addition, Garnero will publish a book in 2008 in conjunction with the ADA that portrays the daily challenges and achievements possible following a diagnosis.

-- Family Member or Friend - Teresa Ollila, Colorado

Ollila is a mother of two and an avid photographer. Inspired by her son's diabetes diagnosis at age 3, she took an interest in capturing the complexity of living with diabetes by photographing others with the condition in her community. Ollila's collection of photographs, titled "Living with Diabetes," reveals the emotional impact of diabetes on people's lives. "I'm photographing how diabetes affects relationships and the feelings it provokes to care for others," Ollila wrote in her narrative.

(read more)

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Only Half Addicted

I have been slowly losing my workout mojo over the past couple of days. I have been eating what I want, without really worrying about calories or fat. I am losing the battle. I know, I know... it happens. You fall off the horse, you get back on. Getting back on is proving to be a little more difficult this time around. Burn out?? Maybe. I think it is more along the lines of not seeing the weight drop as fast as I would like it to. I'm not asking for -10 lbs a week... but -1 lb a week would be awesome. It takes me months to go down 3 lbs... and even then it fluctuates like a yoyo on crack. Really high highs and really low lows. UGH.. frustration is what is keeping me from getting back on.

I went through my cupboards this morning. Yes, the magic pill has to be in there somewhere. What I found was a collection of half empty bottles. Half Empty. Why would I stop half way? Why would I bother doing it for so long and then quit. Had I finished the bottle maybe I would have seen better results..... ahhhhhhhh.... now I see the light. I am half way right now and ready to add the next bottle to my collection. (no, not literally... I have been clean and off diet pills for years now) I am suffering from yet another case of self sabotage. I need to dig deep and finish this. All I want to lose at this point is 40 lbs..... yes, just 40 lbs...... so lets get it done so we can stop this crazy roller coaster of emotions and feel the warmth of success!

Today's Plan:
Shoulders & Arms


Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Angels testing went fine. They figured out what letters she needs help pronouncing and what questions she has a problem answering...i.e.: who, what , where and when. In two weeks I have to take her back again to have her cognitive tested. What ever that is......

I got home and was making hot dogs for lunch.. hey, it was 1:30 and we were all starving. (the reason why you should eat something every 3 hours!) My mom called me and we talked about her new boyfriend. Things are getting serious and she was a little nervous about how I was going to feel about that. She said she would never get married again...but that they might move in together....(a little background... my dad passed away 6 years ago and my mom hasn't dated since) I told her life was short and that she deserved to be happy. I know he is good to her because they have a lot of fun together. Two nights a week they go square dancing....a couple of nights a week they have dinner together... and most weekends he is over at her house spending the day with her. He is a very polite man... and has a great sense of humor. I think it would be blessing for my mom to have this man in her life.

Having said that, I cried like a baby when I got off the phone. Not because I was upset at anything she has said or done... just because I miss my dad.. and I wish he was still here. I try to do and say what he would. He made me promise him before he died that I would stick around here and take care of my mom. I know that he would want her to be happy... I know that he would want me to support her 100%...

(Mom... if you are reading this I want you to know something. As long as you are happy, I will always be happy. Life is too short to worry about what other people think. Daddy will always be in our hearts... but there is always room for one more! )



Align builds and maintains a natural defense against occasional constipation,
diarrhea, urgency, gas and bloating.

Is anyone interested trying it? I have enough to give 3 people two weeks worth of samples.... or if only one person is interested I will send you all 6 weeks worth!

SIX FLAGS!!! .... I have 8 buy one get one free tickets and one free adult admission to Six Flags Magic Mountain. They expire December 31, 2008!

DALE AND THOMAS POPCORN!!!!!.... A $20 gift card for their online store!!

Interested??? Leave me a comment with your email address.. and what you want (and how many).. and I will contact you soon!!! FIRST COME FIRST SERVE...

I was also contacted by a European media company yesterday. They are sending me a free copy of Jillian McKeiths new book! I am super excited. I love her no-nonsense way! Look for a book review soon!!!

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Old Habits Die Hard

So yesterdays weigh in was 194... a gain of 3 lbs. I know it is from a lack of good eating on my part. Lots of carbs and sugar. I'm not sure why I keep returning to my old eating habits when I know for a fact that I will not lose weight like that. Today I am getting back on track with my strict eating plans..

B: Oatmeal
S: berries
L: tuna salad
S: carrot juice
D: not sure yet....

I did my chest and back workout yesterday. Once again totaling 218 push-ups and 76 pull-ups. One of these days I will write out , in detail, my Monday workout. I know it sounds like a lot, but I think you would all be surprised how many push-ups and pull-ups you can do!

Todays workout is Plyometrics (an hour of jumping) and Tang Soo Do class tonight.

Warm weather is finally here, but the wind will not stop. I am dying for a nice day to just lay outside and get a good tan started!

Tomorrow is Angels second round of testing for her speech therapy class next year. She will be meeting with the lady who , I believe, will be her teacher. I'm not sure what, or how, they will test her this time... Most likely it will be more of a one on one with her teacher to give her an idea of what Angel needs. I am still holding my breath praying that they don't diagnose her with ADD or any other disability that will plague her the rest of her life. .... Just let it be a a quick fix please!

Time to get moving... have a great day bloggers!

Saturday, May 31, 2008

The Joy of Family....

I'm talking about my family, of course! With all this crud happening with the in-laws my family has let me know that they are in my corner 100%. My sister and I talked on the phone...she even offered to fly down and kick their butts for me!! Thanks J... but I think if it comes to butt kicking, I'll be OK ;) (Aunt J... I love ya!)

So... are you dying to know how the Benefit Dinner and Dance went? Drum roll please......

We DOUBLED what we were trying to raise. Making over $6,000. The boys are going to Wyoming!!! They were so excited. We were all excited!

The dinner was delicious... and as everyone was sitting down to eat we had an auction set up. Almost EVERY business on the mountain donated something to auction off. Including 5 pieces of framed art, 3 horses, an 800 lb beef on the hoof, a bicycle, a saddle, tools, purses, decorations, kittens, puppies, dinners, oil changes, windshield repair..... everything you could imagine. The auction alone raised the 3,000 we needed.

Once the last of the items were auctioned off the band started playing, the tables and chairs were swept off to the side and the dancing started. The best looking couple on the floor??

Four years old and two stepping on the dance floor with the roughest cowboy she could find! We are in SO much trouble!
Hubby and I danced a little... although I was exhausted by the time I was done handling all the money for the auction... and then cleaning the kitchen because 'the family' left in a huff once all the dinners were served. I didn't mind though. I felt proud of myself for not letting them run me off like they were hoping they had done. There were no words exchanged... they ignored me like I thought they would. I would catch them glaring at me now and then... but who cares! I was having fun meeting new people!
I'm already feeling better!
Have a great weekend!

Friday, May 30, 2008

World War 3

I was upset yesterday... it carried on into the afternoon when I met up with 'the family' for a meeting on the benefit dinner and dance that we are putting on today. Usually I would turn the other cheek, keep my mouth shut and ignore things... but for some reason I could not do it anymore. My mouth opened and a waterfall of emotions came out with it. I told them how I felt and that I was fed up with the family acting this way.

It was the beginning of World War 3. This morning I woke up to hateful messages on my phone from my SIL ...."You don't know what you've done, you've messed with the wrong person."... yeah, not the phrase you want to wake up to . So for the first 3 hours of my morning I have been on the phone. First with mad SIL... that just made it worse, so when she hung up on me I just let it go. Then with Hubby who gave me the 'ol stick with your guns talk. Then with my mom who backed me up 100%. Then , finally, with my FIL's new wife. I had questioned where she stood on this family feud... and she made me feel much better. Apparently 'the family' has been doing the same thing to her. Of course they would, she is the new meat!! She and I compared stories.. and many of the things that 'the family' had told me were lies... the sad thing was the NMIL (new mother in law) had been told by my FIL before they were marred that I was the one that 'the family' left out of the loop all the time. Imagine that... its been common knowledge for years, yet no one has ever said or done anything about it. I guess it was my place to finally stand up for myself... and I did.

Today is going to be hell. We have the benefit dinner and dance to put on.. we will all be at the rodeo grounds at noon today. As much as I would love to stay home and away from those women, I am proud of what we have put together and am proud of those boys for making the National College Rodeo Finals in Wyoming. I am going to pray that they just give me the cold shoulder all day so that words don't have to be exchanged.

I will say that I woke up this morning wishing I had not said anything. I could have just quietly and slowly pushed myself away from them... but at the same time I wanted them all to know how terrible they have been.

NMIL has been wonderful. She has already spoken her mind to mad SIL and backed me up 100%... I think that in the end I will have made a true friend in all this mess.

Today's Plan:

Stay calm, stick to your guns and stay true to yourself, your girls and your husband.


On getting those boys to Wyoming!

Thursday, May 29, 2008

War and Peace


I had a breakdown last night. I have been trying to be a part of Hubbys family since day 1... and for 5 years I have been shot down, rejected, given the cold shoulder. It absolutely amazes me that a family with 2 daughter, 6 sons, 5 daughter in laws and 8 grand kids... they DON'T KNOW HOW TO BE A FAMILY. I am the youngest of four kids. My brother and sisters were pretty much grown and out of the house when I came along, so you could say I was an only child. I know what a family should be like. You love them no matter what. My MIL has not seen our girls since Christmas, yet she drives by our house (literally....our house is 3 blocks off the main highway) to go visit Hubbys younger brother and his kids every other weekend. She has been to ONE of their birthdays..(I think it was Angels first b-day 4 years ago)... Yesterday Hubbys two sisters, one sister in law and her kids, my MIL and my father in laws NEW FRICKIN WIFE all got together yesterday to make some of the food for the dinner and dance tomorrow night. Did they call me? Nope.... and they call is a family event! Pffft

I AM DONE!!!!!

I am not going to try to be a part of this family any more. 5 years is enough. No more being nice to people who do nothing but hurt my family. If they want to see a cold shoulder, then I will give it to them. I love my family and my Hubby. Thankfully my family knows how to love and include my Hubby in everything.... AAAAAAAAAAARrrrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhh..... I am so frustrated.

Why? You ask. There are a couple of reasons. First, hubby has always been the black sheep of the family. He was always in trouble and was a severe alcoholic in his 20's. He has been sober for 4 years now and has not even been pulled over for speeding. He has turned his life around and I am proud of him. As for me... my MIL loved Hubby's first wife... I don't make the cut. The rest of the family are just hateful conniving b*&^%$.

I am trying not to be like them.... but I really cant turn another cheek.

Ok, venting is over....

Yesterdays workout was a good one. I did my Plyometrics and it was a kick butt hour of jumping. Then I did my shoulder and arms weights... I was really worn out when I started, so it made for a hellacious hour. When I was done I felt good. I was drenched is sweat and proud that I got through both workouts.

Today's Plan:


water and food