Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Day 1

I have been in a never ending loop for the past 8 months. I lose 5 lbs, I gain 5 lbs, and I have told myself the same thing every time. "Dig deep and just do it". Well, I have lost my *umph*. My get up and go. I have become discouraged.

I KNOW that its possible... I KNOW that I can do it... but my head has taken over every time. I binge eat and it crosses out the hard workouts that I put myself through. It is really a vicious cycle.

Yesterday I did not exercise. Why? Because I ate too many carbs and felt like : "why bother? I'm just going to end up eating MORE later?"

This is not me. This is not the person I want to be. I want to be the strong, athletic type. I could care less if I get down to 145... I would be thrilled with 175. I am a very strong girl, physically. I can lift heavier weights then most women. I don't want to be a body builder, but I do want to have awesome arms! I want to fight in the MMA... I want to be able to run without stopping.

I WANT THIS.... so why do I sabotage myself every time I get close?

There is something in my head that does not want me to succeed. I have tried to figure out what it is.. but I cant think of anything. Am I afraid I might not like what I see? Will I never be good enough?

How did I lose the first 25 lbs? It absolutely amazes me when I think about it. What was I doing different?

Its time to go back in time:

Day 108: 193.5 (December 31, 2007)

YAHOOOOO! That is a total weight loss of 3.5 lbs this week. This brings my total weight loss in 2007 to 21.5 lbs!! Not too shabby. I think I have figured out my portion sizes.. and that seems to be making the big difference! Also, my wogging has become , do I dare say it, FUN. Yes, I am loving my morning woggs and because of this new found joy I wogg every morning. I may not do 3 miles every day, but 1 mile here and there makes my days so much better.

This is the last time I saw a REAL loss... One that did not involve losing the same 5 lbs over and over.

Food has been good. My portions are staying small even though I have gotten over my flu. I really think that is what was making the difference in my weight loss.

This is one of the answers... smaller portions. I have been eating HUGE. I think what I have become used to thinking is 'normal' is really 'supersized'. So.. that is one thing I will start working on again.

The other thing I noticed was that I was running a LOT. 7-10 miles a week. So, back to the treadmill. I need to get in at least 1 mile a day....

Thank God for blogging. I really gained a lot more motivation and knowledge. The best part is, I know that what I read works for me! Because it was me!

So, I am on schedule for a morning run today. Smaller portions and lots of water. I'm ready....


Oinkstop said...

I so hear you on being "stuck." I've been stuck for a long time, too, though my situation has a lot more to do with drama and things external to my diet that just overtook my life.

But I'm back on track, diet-wise, anyway, and still not losing all that much weight.

Hang in there. Keep doing the right thing because eventually it has to come off.

dancer-in-me said...

Tiger, YOU CAN DO IT!! I have found so much inspiration in your blog. You are my first read every day.

And I AM GOING WIN!!(189)LOL!!

P.O.M. said...

I swear weightloss for me (and it sounds like you too) is all about food food food. I can run 15 miles a day, but if I'm eatin' large portions, I will gain. No matter what.

You know you can do this. Cut back the portions. Cut back the sugar and carbs. You've done it before you can do it again. If you add the workouts into the mix - you are going to be unstopable! (Did I spell that right?)

Robyn said...

I'm so glad to have the blog so that I can go back and look at things I did, too. Basically, what I absolutely KNOW works for me is to: Count my calories and stay under 1200 a day....and drink lots of water. I did that and did not even exercise, and lost quite a bit of weight that way. With you exercising as much as you do, I just KNOW that if you stick to around 1500 a day, you'll lose what you want to lose!
I've had many weeks of stalls...but all it takes is one week of eating good again and doing a bit of exercise to get it going for me again. I think all you need is your "perfect week" for a couple of times in a row, and you'll most definitely see the scale rewarding you. C'mon, TL! You gotta beat Dancer-in-me to 189! I'm rooting for you!!!!!!

Mark Salinas said...

I eat immediately in the morning whether I am hungry or not...get the metabolism roarin'! Snack all day stop at dinner (mostly). Do you have an HR monitor? It was a tool that has been a must during my journey.

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