Friday, March 28, 2008

Love Yourself , Day 9 P90X

Fatmom wrote a post yesterday that got me thinking. What is it that holds us back? What baggage are we carrying in our heads that is so heavy it causes the rest of our body to suffer from it? What happens to us that food suddenly becomes the only comfort? Why do we all want to suppress ourselves? Shut ourselves up... hide ourselves in a fat suite?

I got to thinking... what is in my head? I told Fatmom that my biggest fear was reaching my goal weight. That may be true.. I am scared to reach goal only to find that it was the only thing keeping me going. Then what? I am dealing with it as I lose weight... but this isn't what caused me to be fat. There has to be something else up there that makes me run to food when I am 'uncomfortable'. Do I want to know? No. What ever the reason was, I am passed it. How do I know this? Because being healthy and living longer is more important to me then anything else. Do I care that my body may not look the way I want it to when I reach goal? No. If Hubby can put up with me being 215, then he will love me with baggy skin on my tummy. Am I going to gain weight again? Sure. I will fall off the wagon over and over again.. but as long as I stay strong and get back on then I am ok. The past is just that, past. I don't care to bring it up... and yes, there are some terrible things in my past that happened, and any one of them could have been my 'cue' to eat and not stop. I cant change the past, but I can change my future. I have had one scare with cancer.. and I have no doubt that cancer is what will eventually kill me... but damn it if I am not going to be strong enough to fight it for as long as I can.

We are given one body in this lifetime. Why would we just let it rot? My goal is to be the strongest and healthiest person that I can be.. I may never reach goal...only because there will always be something that I can do to better myself.

Today's Plan:

60 Min Cardio X
Walk, Walk, Walk

Focus: Calories, Water

I totaled 7.5 miles yesterday... which brought me to 25.5 miles in the challenge. Today is a beautiful day and I hope to get the majority of my miles outside.

See you tomorrow!


robyn479 said...

Wow, Tigerlilly...great post! I love your attitude...and it's been consistently positive and goal-oriented! You are definitely on your way to better health- at whatever weight it will put you at! You are looking really great...and those red dress pictures proved to do as much working out as you're able to do at this point (and the WALKING!) I am 100% convinced that you, and you only, have managed to get your body into great shape and have become a MUCH healthier person!! Congratulations on that accomplishment...because a lot of people may manage to lose weight, but they still won't be in as good of shape as you, and therefore won't be as healthy. (and, by "a lot of people" I really mean ME...since I've still not learned to enjoy physical activity yet...)
Anyway, you're doing so great, and the pic you posted today is so cute of you and your daughter! Keep on keeping on! It can only get better from here!

FatMom said...

You know what I love about you, Tigerlilly? You acknowledge your past, your mistakes and all that other crap, and yet you MOVE FORWARD. You don't wallow in it. That's where I'm losing it. I can only seem to climb out of the muck for so long before I allow myself to slide back into it. Got to work on that...

Jill said...

Wow that was deep TL. Not only are you a work out warrior, you are a thinker too. That's the stuff that will get you to goal and beyond.