Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Awwww shucks.. you people are too sweet. Thanks for all the compliments... they were accepted with blushing cheeks! Now I don't want you to think that I constantly put myself down... oh no... I know I am a good lookin' woman! Hehehe.. but come on people, everyone has something that irks them about their weight, right? I just HATE pictures of me! LOL I have this weird picture of myself in my head...(apparently a skinny picture) but when I see a picture of myself, then that picture is shattered. What runs thru my head... "Am I really that fat?" "I looked so skinny in that dress at home... " Am I deceiving myself every time I look in the mirror? Am I crazy? LOL

I don't know, maybe I just don't want to accept the fact that I have let myself get so big. My fear?.. that I will never lose this weight. That this blog, as much as I love it, will last for years and years... only to end at the same weight as it began. Kind of like that nightmare where your falling and never hit bottom.. well, I'm falling but the ground isn't getting any closer.

So on that high note...I am having a hard time getting back on track with eating. It doesn't help that I have left over cheesecake, cookies and chips that I got for hubby and kids to snack on at the wedding... the cheesecake has been tossed as of this morning, but not after a couple of bites. The cookies and chips are still in the cabinet...those I can stay away from fairly easy. I HAVE to workout today... at least get in my run. If I can get at least one good day behind me again, I will be fine.


Laura N said...

So you are where I was at the start of this year. I can totally relate! First, let me tell you that pictures DO lie. They are 2-D, flat, and can make a skinny person look fat. Next, pictures don't show your personality, and you have LOADS!

But I understand about wanting to look and feel better. And like the way you look in your family pictures. And be an example for your kids. And have your husband think you're sexy.

It has taken me, literally, 12 years to get to the point I am now. 12 years of struggle, of diets off and on, of losing and gaining 20 pounds over and over, of therapy and antidepressents, of feeling like I was never going to change and be free of the weight and the food addiction.

Part of why it's clicked for me this time is that I'm reaching the age of 40 (I'm 37), and I knew it was now or never. You are getting close to 30, so you know about these age milestones and how freaky they are. I'm done having kids, so I knew I wouldn't have to deal with PG weight gain again. And I found a program that had everything I needed to succeed--most importantly an accountability structure that, as long as I just showed up, wouldn't let me fail.

Everyone finds something different that works. And you will too. Consistency is the key, I think, in making this weight loss thing stick. I know, with kids, that can be impossible sometimes. But what can you do today that you can do tomorrow and the next day and the next?

Whatever you do, hang in there. If you're not gaining, at least, that's something! I look forward to reading more of you!!

Cory said...

Those were some awesome pictures, and you did look good. It's kinda funny because my ex-Marine friend and I were looking through her old pictures this weekend, and there were some Marine weddings in the mix. (Including hers!)

You'll get back on track with everything. Just keep trying!

de said...

hi tl the road is usualy rough but you have all you need to make it.

Christine said...

Yeah! You are a great looking gal! :)

After my big weekend I brought home leftovers too. Would you believe that when I got home from work the other night (1230am) I had a huge bowl of mashed potatoes and gravy. Yes - don't forget the gravy. Why?? I don't know - cuz it was there. LOL.

Let's have a good day tomorrow, k?