Friday, May 09, 2008

Day 35 P90X, Failed With Flying Colors...

There is a program in our town that helps children 2-5 years old with their speech problems. It is one of the rare programs that is free. The kids have to test into the program. My 4 year old is very hard to understand. She still does not form full sentences and the words she does say... well, usually only mommy and her all-knowing dictionary of 'Angel Words' can understand. So, we signed her up to take the test and see if she was eligible for the program.

At 9am this morning angel was taken into 5 different rooms in the building. Each room tested a different area. ie: adaptive, cognitive, motor, vision, hearing, personal/social and communication. Sister and I got to go along and watch (from a distance so as not to interfere...or sneak her the answers!). Her motor skills were fine... as I already knew from the constant ballet she dances in the kitchen! When it came to answering questions... well it went something like this:

Teacher: "Who made you breakfast this morning?"

Angel: mumbled something about Woodroe, our dog, and Snoopy.

Teacher: "What is your last name?"

Angel: "Two!!!"

I knew that she had a problem.. but I didn't realize it until it was right in front of me. Needless to say.. she failed the tests with flying colors. Which, in a weird and twisted way, is good because that means that she qualified for the program. They are going to send me a letter to let me know when the next testing is (what else could they be testing for??) and when the first class is. (sometime in August)

Is it normal to feel like a complete failure as a mother?? Baby Sister is nothing like Angel. She is going to be 3 next month and speaks in full sentences and already draws faces and dogs... (angel doesn't draw anything but lines right now)... so did I drop the ball with my first daughter and then bounce back in time for my second daughter?
She did pass the colors test... and I was super proud of her for that. We've been working on that for a while now. I know that this is going to be really good for her.. and I hope that it works wonders. I just wish she didn't need it in the first place.


Jill said...

Oh TL you are NOT a failure as a mom!! You are a great mom!! Some kids just need a little more help than others. My oldest has struggled in school since first grade (he's now 11), but my 7 year old is smart as a whip. Kids are just different, and it's good that she is getting help now!! By the time she's ready for school, I"ll bet she'll be doing so much better. Don't worry honey, it's going to be fine, I promise!!

Hanlie said...

Don't make this about you! You're not a failure as a mom. Most parents miss these things and are very shocked when a less-desirable diagnosis is made. That doesn't make you a bad mom. Rather pat yourself on the back for taking her to be tested and be thankful that she in the program so that she can get the help she needs.

Good luck!

Fatinah said...

it is normal to feel like a failure as a mother when things run amuck with the kids- except this so isn't about that. A mom's job is to love her children unconditionally and keep them safe. From what I read on your blog, you do that in spades. A failure of a mom would stick her head in the sand, pretend she doesn't notice what is going on, not get her daughter any help. You're doing what you need to to make sure your daughter will be the best she can be. Often when children get help early on it makes a huge difference. Your daughter is very lucky that you were able to get her tested so young. And what a blessing in this economy that you found a free program to boot. Seems to me TL that you would be what we call the "OPPOSITE" of a failure as a mom.

Robyn said...

I don't think I could say it better than the three smart ladies that have already commented. They are so right: Good for you for recognizing a bit of a need for therapy, and being a good enough of a mommy to take the time to go and have her evaluated! You obviously love and care for your daughters tenfold, and that is quite apparent. You've done a wonderful job as a mommy. Don't doubt that one bit!!
And, in case I don't get back on here to tell you this before Sunday: Have a happy Mother's Day! :) You deserve it.

Claire said...

Ditto to what everyone said.

Happy Mother's Day! And you are quite obviously a very good mom, btw. :-)

Laura N said...

I don't think I can add anything more insightful than what's already been commented--this is NOT your fault!--, other than to say we're here for you. I'm sure you're getting her help at a young enough age that it will make a difference. Didn't she just turn 4? It's hard to know what's "normal" when they are that little. It's great there's a program near you that can help at no cost to you. HUGS.

debby said...

Gosh TL, came over to check this blog since you hadn't posted much on the walking blog. Just from the little I've read and seen on your blog, I've been thinking what a special mom you are, and how lucky your girls are to have a creative mom like you. I will be praying for you and your little girls. I wonder if its something "simple" like her hearing being impaired.

Tiffany said...

Sometimes it takes stepping outside of our box to see how our kids really are. Don't beat yourself up to every mom their kids are perfect and it takes someelse showing us that they are not. I am glad she is going to get some help.

Carol Bardelli said...

Remember God CHOSE you to be her mommy because you are just right for the job.

My cousin talked gibberish until he was six - only my aunt could understand what he wanted - and turned out to have a high IQ, excelled in college and be a brilliant academic with a wonderful wife and family. Your daughter is probably gifted too.

God Bless You and "High Five" to a Fellow Power 90Xer!